Justin Hawkins and The Darkness

I was a massive, massive Darkness fan I went to the gigs, I saw them in Paris (twice), had drinks with them in Cao Ba in Paris. Wonderful time being a fan in the early days.

I made some wonderful friends on the Offical Darkness Forum about 4 years ago and those online relationships turned to wonderful real life friendships which I still have today. Myself and 5 others decided it was time to put out love of the band, music and journalism into one tidy package called Optimum Impact (Named from Justin's own ramblings)We had a lot of fun with that magazine and although I don't write as much for it as I wish I did it's still going, held up by Jo and Davey. (The famous pic of The Six on our first meeting ^)


Anyway, The Darkness meant a lot more to me than just a band because I met so many wonderful people through them who shared the love that I did.

Although we got to go to some awesome places via the magazine (Darkness press conference, numerous free gigs etc) we get no recognition from the band. That hurt. So we changed our selves from a print Darkness fanzine to an online mostly, but not exclusively, Darkness E-zine.

Right enough of my life story, basically everything changed for me when Frankie left the band, simply because I had always been a Frankie fan. (I named my dog after him, woo)See the dog to the right, MY Frankie. Bouncy Spaniel.

Anyways, I found that Frankie was leaving right as it was posted by Webbie because I was up writing stories on the internet at 1 in the morning. I was pretty upset but then all these stories surfaced of why Frankie left. I don't know whether they were true or not and I'm not in a position to take sides because accusations of that severity aren't much to do with the fans.

Beautiful Richie replaced Frankie as bassist and although I tried so so hard to love them as much as I had it was a lot harder. I enjoyed the second album very much and I saw them with Richie at the UEA just before their final tour. Apart from being able to hear my self sing along with the songs it was a good gig. Wasn't too happy about standing around in the cold afterwards though. Brrr.

The band were never the same for me and when I heard that Justin had gone to the priory I was upset. Then I found out that the band had split. I don't think things happened in the best way, I've heard so much about how things ended and how Dan and Jus are to one another now but I don't know what to believe. I don't think I want to be involved anymore.

It seems to me that things happened badly and there's a lot of tension between, fans, old band memebers, new band members etc. It's hard for me to explain.

After seeing the Stone Gods at the Waterfront I'm torn as to what to think. I like them but I still feel like there's been all the bad stuff happen and it's like Richie came in and took away Frankie. I definitely KNOW that's not the case but it still feels that way. It was Frankie's choice to leave and Richie just came in to be the new bassist so the Darkness could continue.

Now it seems like sneaky things have been done and Justin has been getting the brunt of all this. No one really know the truth. I've never known there to be such politics in a band. After a little while of disliking Justin and the whole band that's passed and I realise how much I admire them all. Especially Justin. Still hard to explian.

I feel angry, cheated and lonely at times when thinking about this and listening to the Darkness can produce two reactions. The nostalgia will be too much and I will cry. Or I will smile and laugh and be extremely happy thinking about the good times. Obviously the latter is preferable and more common. I miss the Darkness I made great friends and met people I never would've met otherwise. I've been able to relate good stories about going to see them play football and I've been able to joke about funny stuff we've thought up during trips. (Eyeball catsuit, anyone?)

My problem is I became too involved and it ruined the band for me. People came onto the forum who were complete twats (Not going to mention any names but I'm sure the few people that will read this will understand who I mean). There were so many things that irritated me, one that stands out in my mind was when they had to cancel a gig because Justin had hurt his voice; I believe it was lyringitus or something (although the papers said it was throat cancer and fans panicked) Anways, I thought poor Justin hope he gets better soon.

I then headed to the forum to have a nice chat with people about poor Jus and his poor throat. No such luck, there were people slagging him off left rigth and centre. These people were supposed to be fans and they were slagging him off for bein sick. What did they want? For him to sing and for it to be rubbish so they could moan about that? Or for him to get worse so more gigs would be cancelled. Wankers.

I rushed in as did a few others to put these twats in their place, however we were the minority. How can these people call themselves fans I just don't understand it. I pains me to think that people can be that selfish and cruel, it wasn't as if their tickets were going to be trown away and no gig ever. It was rescheduled and their tickets still valid.

After that I was wary of who I made friends with.

Then everyone was fighting. There were these rumours floating around about the band, there were stalkers that thought themselves better than the Six (No one is better that the Six. Remember this: It could save your life.)

Politics, rumors, fights etc all ruined being a fan for me.

Since the Darkness I haven't got involved with any band like that. I've made friends with bands and become a fan that way but I am never trawling the forum getting into all the gossip and rumours again.

For example I am a fan of the TV show The Mighty Boosh. I've had people offer to introduce me to Noel and Julian on a number of occasions and I've always turned them down. I do not want to be a fan any longer, if I meet people I admire by chance then great but I'd rather not. Simply because I don't want to meet a hero and my love for them crushed. It's devestating. It's horrible because I can see in Noel, Justin. That scares me.

Once again I have no way with words and am finding this hard to explain.

Bascially, I miss the Darkness, will never be a hardcore fan again and feel quite guilty that I like the Stone Gods.