Dreams, rants and my musical life

I seem to have an inordinate amount of Lost dreams

2010-10-28T17:10:00.000+01:00

It's a show I watched from the beginning to the end when it was on telly. And I loved it but I haven't thought about it or watched it since it ended.

So the dream started off with Arnst (Arst) the Dr. (?) from series one (?). He was talking about dynamite just before they were due to blow up the Black Rock. He was waving it around and making everyone look as if he was about to blow himself up. He then talked about some dud dynamite that wouldn't work and threw it into the ship.

The ship blew up and he jumped. The force of the jump blew him, and the dynamite he was holding, up.

The ship fell over and we all scrambled to get out of the way. I can only remember Hurley and Michael there. For some reason we were looking for a hammer. Hurley pointed to one that flew past us from the blast and Michael said, "Yo, that aint the one we are looking for. It's not crumblin'"

The ship missed us and we carried on out merry way. We then came across an allotment and we knew that Danielle would be here so we'd have to be careful. There was a bungalow, a fence and some Jack Russells too.

Eventually we found Danielle and her children. We then moved on.

We found these plush villas where Jack, Sawyer, Sayid and Kate were all hanging out. They were drinking mulled wine and lounging around on satin cushions. Then there was dancing. Rose and Bernard were getting particularly into it and Sayid and Sawyer had a snog on the dancefloor.

We then needed to get down to business. I went with Jack, Hurley and Sawyer to the top of a mountain where we could spy on the others. They were backing their white pick up truck into a garage. Then Kate was there! Was Kate working with the others.

I wasn't sure but it didn't seem to matter. We went back to the beautiful multi-level open plan villas and drank more wine and danced.

New layout and my sucky life

2010-08-26T11:45:00.000+01:00

First take a moment to embrace a less dark, much prettier view in front of you. I like it. Much less oppressive.

Now listen to me moan about my life. Firstly my Grandad. He's ill, has been in NNUH for a week or two now. Fucking hates it there. The nurses are mean to him and he always looks so forlorn and uncomfortable when we visit him. I've offered to stab any mean nurses in the face, he laughed it off. I was serious.

Supernatural dream

2010-08-26T08:25:00.003+01:00

I was in a dungeon fighting against my friend Alex who was possessed. I was told by Dean Winchester that I had to stab her with the knife then cut off a body part to kill her. My cat, Powder, was also helping her. I'd have to kill my cat too.

After a bit of a fight I stabbed Alex in the head then cut off her arm. I was crying, that was my friend.

I then had to get on a train. I was standing on the plat form and tried to buy a ticket when the train turned up. I was told that the train was full and I couldn't buy a ticket. Loads of people I was told me it was okay. So we had to wait for the next train. It was a cold day and although I had my coat on I had no gloves.

Dean was still there, he was wearing stripy gloves. He held my hands.

Train then turned up and I went to mum's to repair the relationship with my cat who'd come back to life.

My funeral...

2010-08-04T12:30:00.002+01:00

I had a quick disturbing dream about going to my wake before I'd even died. I had some sort of terminal illness that said I'd die on a particular date. It wasn't like cancer or anything. I felt fine. I decided to invite anyone I'd even been friends with to my party. There were a lot of old school friends there and there was a wall where they could post farewell message to me.

I went to look at the wall, there were only one or two things there. One said:

"I love you - Tom."

I knew who it was and in real life I haven't spoken to this guy since highschool and even then we weren't really friends.

That set me off. I went to speak to Ben telling him that this couldn't be real and that I felt fine so how could I die the next day. I've never felt so heart broken in my life. I didn't want to leave these fantastic people. I didn't want to leave Ben.

I hugged Tom, didn't need to say I wasn't interested. It didn't really matter, I loved Ben and I was about to die.

The next day, I didn't die...

More Sylar

2010-08-04T12:28:00.003+01:00

This is only vague and was a few days ago but I remember waking up and feeling quite happy about it. I was at Heathrow airport just sitting around waiting for a plane when Sylar came and sat next to me. I was surprised that he was being so pleasant and he asked me if I wanted to go for a coffee. We went out and sat outside this cafe.

Laura Anderson, a friend from years and years ago who I probably wouldn't recognise now, served us.

Do you love norfolk?

2010-07-29T13:25:00.003+01:00

If you were wondering what to do in Norfolk then my new site is just for you!

www.love-norfolk.co.uk

Stepping out of my comfort zone

2010-07-20T12:54:00.002+01:00

I am posting this short piece for criticism - and hopefully a bit of praise - that makes me uncomfortable for two reasons.

1) I never write like this, my writing is usually much more simplistic or is non-fiction SEO articles on flowers...
2) I don't take critique well.

Largely unedited, so please point out typos, grammar errors. I'm rubbish with first person so point out any tense errors too. Thanks in advance for this. I need to improve.

--
The light bounced off the dancing mass throwing them into a world of colour, pink heads, green torsos and yellow legs. It was fascinating to watch, a perfect rainbow moving in time to the throb of the music. It might be the alcohol running through me that was making me think like this but I couldn't take my eyes off them. The trance like movements of everyone bouncing together just made me stare. It was like some magical force was pulling them all together and throwing them into this insane light orgy.

My drink was empty and my mouth was dry, I probably could have done with rehydrating myself, a glass of water before the next wave of alcohol. I wouldn't. That wasn't me, I didn't stop to think about how the alcohol would feel the next morning. I didn't stop to think about being too hungover for school. I already knew I'd be taking the day off. I knew that I'd just phone in and pretend to be my mum. I'd done it often and I'd do it again.

Standing in this club and feeling the beat vibrate through me was very much worth the time I'd miss. I was experiencing life and this life was much more exciting than education. Somewhere under the alcohol haze I wanted to do well at school. I wanted to qualifications and I wanted a high paying creative job. Maybe I could just own a club that would make me happy beyond belief.

I suppose I could have renounced drink and clubbed without the fun intoxication. But would I still feel like this? Was the euphoria I was feeling down to the music or the alcohol? Or was it a combination of both? The latter probably. I wasn't going to stop, I had friends who did this every night, I couldn't miss out just because it was a Wednesday evening. Was it Wednesday or Thursday? It might be past midnight, the dance floor is busy, busier than I would have imagined for the middle of the week. Maybe there was a party.

The massive moving music orgy slowed as the song changed only to begin bouncing as soon as the next thud of bass arrived. I looked down at my empty drink and sighed, I needed to get up and get to the bar. No table service here, no tables. I'd been sat on a leather sofa near the dance floor. This was the best vantage point to watch those people. Although none of them were individuals, I'd been seeing those dancers as one. I wasn't here to pick out people. I wasn't here to pull like most others. Although when I think about it I suppose most of the people in that group were hooking up with someone else next to them. Groping, feeling, touching, throbbing. It was fine because it was what music did to you.

I wrapped my fingers around the cool glass and stood, I didn't know how long I'd been alone for but it didn't matter. I didn't need people to chat to. The music was too loud, anyway it was all the conversation I needed.

The bar was crowded, there were people all along its length, it didn't take me long to squeeze myself into a gap that was probably too small for me. Those people moved, I don't know how long I stood there for but it was a while before I got served. I wasn't waving my money about frantically I was just watching the bar staff go through the motions of serving these people around me. I was also enjoying the heat of being squeezed between these people to feel their movements as they reached into their pockets for money or took their drink from the bar.

When the pain in the ball of my feet from six inch heels was too much to bear I rested my elbow on the bar, tenner in hand. I wasn't here for my health, clearly, I was here for a drink. With a bit of a shouting and a bit of pointing I ordered a new glittering glass of rosé wine. A large one. I then slid away from the bar and back to my vantage point. It seemed I was no longer alone, I recognised one of those people, the person I was supposed to be out with in the first place. She was talking to people who appeared to be strangers to me.

That didn't stop me from sitting down and taking the weight of my aching feet. I then just watched them, wasn't bothered by the lack of recognition. I didn't lean in to hear what they were talking about but instead decided to speculate on their conversation. Inappropriate parrots, dancing bears and Russian meerkats. My drunken mind took me into the realms of obscurity and I watched them, smiling when they smiled and laughing when it rippled through the group towards me.

From Frankie

2010-05-18T11:05:00.002+01:00

I'm writing this from a new character's point of view. She was never supposed to be a Doctor Who character but she sort of fell into mine and Kirby's roleplay. I'll do this from her point of view. Please, meet Frankie. As usual, this is based on a dream I had last night.

--

Arriving in Cardiff was lovely, they was a nice breeze coming from the bay and the sun was out. I was instantly drawn to the Millennium centre and water tower. I walked around for a bit, for once the sun wasn't bothering me although I knew if I stayed out for much longer it would.

This place felt strange, there was so much activity beneath the surface. Something was strange about this place but as people went about their business it was as if they hadn't even noticed. Maybe I could pick it up because of my higher being status. I've been around long enough to know when something is weird.

The feeling of someone coming to walk beside me was a surprise, especially when I realised that I knew him. Captain Jack Harkness, we'd only met briefly before but he knew me and I knew him. I knew that he'd traveled with the Doctor and that he would understand the weird feeling I was getting about this place. He then became rather defensive. Telling me I was being silly. That meant that Torchwood must be around here and he didn't want me to see it.

I pretended not to have noticed the defensiveness and instead tried to find out how to get into this place. I walked towards the water, under a small bridge. There were two options here: left and right. Jack started going left so I went right. He told me I was going the wrong way and I knew I wasn't. I walked along the decking to a boarded up old tourist information office.

I could see that this was, or at least had been the entrance to Torchwood once but now there was no way of getting in. I turned to look at Jack and he'd gone.

John Barrowman, Scott Mills and meat

2010-05-18T10:21:00.003+01:00

I'd heard on the radio that Radio 1 would be giving away stuff on a first come, first served basis at various spots around the UK. I was driving around away from work only to learn that I'd be driving past one of these spots. It was good timing as I pulled up and Scott Mills greeted me.

He then handed me some Kobe beef steak, a lamb joint and yoghurt. He then went to the side of the road and continued with his show. A random collection of things but I was very happy with it. Very excited about finally trying Kobe beef.

Got it home and put it all in the fridge. I then left my house only to find John Barrowman outside. I asked him if he needed a lift somewhere and he said yes. We drove to his destination, he was very nice and chatty. I didn't ask him for an autograph.

When I stopped the car I asked him for a hug and a kiss. He laughed but was very willing. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and got out of the car. He shut the door and then leaned through the open window and gave me the most beautiful half/friendly kiss on the lips.

Vividness, urgh. Damn his gorgeous gay self.

Captain Jack's Gloves

2010-04-14T09:31:00.002+01:00

Kirby and I had decided to get away from America, for some reason we couldn't stay there any longer. Instead we decided to go to Mexico. We got a bus and as we crossed the boarder everyone's faces changed, they all looked Mexican but it was all of a sudden. We saw that we were in Mexican territory and rejoiced.

We explored for a little while enjoying our new found freedom.

We then realised that our pursuer had caught up with us. It was Captain Jack, hell bent on capturing us and taking us back to the states. We weren't entirely sure what we'd done. We hid in a toilet cubicle and saw through the crack in the door various people walk in and out of the toilets. Fear shot over us when Jack walked in. We exited out hiding place and ran. A car pulled up alongside us it was Mike Novic (from 24) we knew he was working with Jack.

He assured us that he wanted to help. We jumped in his car and drove off. Jack stood at the side of the road, he looked angry. I took in his usual airforce attire and noticed he was wearing really nice leather gloved too. Kirby had also noticed, "I like his gloves," she said.

With that, Jack threw his gloves at the car in frustration. We knew we'd have to get them. Mike stopped the car and we darted out to grab the gloves. We could only get one before Jack started shooting at us.

Zachary Quinto, a waiter, Embo, my mum and Liam Neeson.

2010-04-11T08:11:00.002+01:00

I was with a group of people I tweet with, except that's not quite what I do with them but for the purpose of the dream they were my Twitter friends. Zachary Quntio, Embo Parko, Lucie Walker and my Mum. Our group was being led by Liam Neeson.

We sat down to get some lunch and a waiter joined us. Embo took a shine to him straight away. She pulled him to sit next to her. He looked awkward and uncomfortable so moved to sit on the table. But he was toonear the food I was about to eat so Mum pushed him back onto the chair next to Embo.

We all were chatting and eating. I needed the loo so went with Mum, the cleaner was in there on his hands and knees cleaning. He said it was okay for us to come in. Margaret was also there. She makes cakes and is a friend of my mother's. Lovely lady. Just hanging out in the loos...

We got back to everyone and I decided to explore. I let Liam know where I was going. I then went to look at some handbags. They were on a huge technological revolving carosel that was only allowed to be operated by staff. There were various categories. It was currently on laptop bags. Great, I needed one. Someone then came along and changed it to nappy bags. Less exciting. I continued to explore and bumped into the old head teacher from the highschool I went to. Mr. Munson. He was getting really excited about an iPhone game. I told him I'd download it and left.

Got back to the group. Embo was still pursuing fit, awkward waiter. I sat with Zachary Quinto and began chatting. It was as if I knew him. A few drinks later, needed the loo. Cleaner man was still in there but messing about. He laughed, I went to the loo.

When I came out I saw Zachary Quinto walking towards me. It was then I realised that he wasn't him any more. He was Sylar. He came towards me, looking at me from under those beautiful eyebrows. I was a bit scared. He pushed me onto the floor and climbed ontop of me between my legs. In the middle of the hall!

I can't remember what he said to me but he proceeded to kiss me. It was one of those terribly vivid dreams. I could feel him kissing me, stubble and all. I could also feel how slim he was. I ran my hands down his sides, could feel the texture of his shirt and where it was tucked into his trousers. I could feel hip bones, a belt. I physically opened my eyes and could see him. I was half awake trying desperately to hold onto the image.

It went on for a while, beautiful. I then woke up. My lips were dry as if I'd been kissing someone stubbly.

Kirby, Matt Smith and a bonfire

2010-04-09T10:00:00.002+01:00

Now, as I decided to write this dream it slipped from my head. I'm going to write down the only snippet that remains incase the rest comes back.

I was hanging out with Matt Smith, the new Doctor. There was a reason I just can't remember what it was. My friend Kirby had asked me to get her his autograph. I thought I'd do one better so I got him to call her. I said, "go on pretend to be the Doctor."

He screwed up his face and put the ringing phone to his ear, "no," he said with a laugh.

I laughed too as if I'd been joking even though I hadn't been.

I was then with Kirby, Ben and Matt (double date?) in a big green caravan thing watching some fire works. Something really interesting happened/was said but I can't remember what.

We were clearly in America so Ben and I flew back. From our ACTUAL, real life America trip we'll get back at 8am Sunday morning to get straight back to work on the Monday. I got in the car to drive home from Heathrow, thinking 'urgh, work tomorrow.' I looked at the date and it was Saturday! Yay.

India

2010-03-16T09:59:00.002Z

I was in India helping some of my family to explore their heritage (none of my family really have Indian heritage.) We were looking round a really beautifully painted building. It had pillars, low ceilings and was exclusively made of stone.

We left the building to see some gates closing on a Muslim ceremony, all Muslims had to be within the gates and all non-muslims outside. As we weren't muslim we moved outside of the gates. My Dad wanted to know what was going on because our car and hotel were inside the gates.

He ran to the top of a watch tower and started shouting at the (white) guard. The guard pushed him and he fell all the way down these steep steps. I think the guard was going to shoot him but Dad sat up and broke the guy's neck.

I was in Doctor Who

2010-03-16T09:34:00.002Z

Tain, a character of mine who was created for the whoniverse, was in a big English mansion. The sort of thing you see in horror movies and murder mysteries. I was her so I will write this from first person point of view.

I ran through the mansion determined to get back to the Doctor, I didn't think there would be anything to hinder me. There were, loud, heavy foosteps behind me I turned just in time to see a hammer come down on me. The man wielding the huge hammer was dressed in armor, some sort of guard or soldier. Another blow with the hammer and I was unconscious.

When I awoke I was in the middle of an bare dark oak wood floor. The walls were paneled but the room was empty.

I left the room only to turn a corner and come across another guard. This time I was ready, I grabbed the guard by the shoulders and I think he was surprised at my strength. He soon crumpled to the floor and I continued on my way.

After a while without seeing anyone I tiptoed into a room. There were to guards near to where I'd walked in and two guarding a passage at the other end of the room.

I didn't fancy taking on four guards so snuck down the side of the room and up some stairs to the right of the passage way. One guard saw me and I dealt with her. I peered round the side of the stairs to see a large round ghost. Was it a boo? It was a boo, what the hell. I decided to run rather than deal with it. However, it started to come up the stairs. No amount of looking at it would make it stop.

The guards knew where I was. I ran around to another set of stairs that came down the other side of the passage. The guards had followed me so I could nip through and see what awaited me.

In front of me, down the passage, was a high ceilinged room apparently only blocked off by a metal bar just below head height. My hesitation meant the guards and boo were behind me, I dived under the bar and they didn't follow.

There were a few people in there and in the middle, on a large, curved sofa was the Doctor. I was pleased to see him. I sat between him and a half naked man with six arms. We were victorious.

Discarded

2010-03-01T21:32:00.004Z

Below is a excerpt from what I am lovingly calling my novel. In fact it is really an excerpt from the mess of ideas currently swirling around my head. This writing business is hard. I love these five paragraphs but alas the story will not work with them in.

Captain Matthews sat himself in front of Aidan and Kathryn. This was the part he’d always hated about bringing in new people from the surface. They sat there looking at him expectantly. He’d made friends with these people, helping them settle in during this week, aiding in their application to become part of the community. Now he had to break some difficult news.

“As you know space at the Sanctuary is limited. You understand that we can only accommodate those who can give something back to the community,” he was programmed to say all this. He’d done it more times than he liked to recall. The look Aidan and Kathryn then shared told Sam that they knew what was coming, neither of them were idiots.

“We’ve decided…” he hated have to put himself as part of the collective, he objected to this ruling, “that Aidan’s medical experience would be hugely useful in ensuring that those here stay fit and well and also in the event of any emergencies. He would need to stay with us.” Sam didn’t know if they would understand but Aidan now didn’t have a choice, he’d have to stay. Although Sam was supposed to turn a blind eye to how people were made to stay he wasn’t keen on being the one to deliver the news to these two. He knew Aidan well enough to know that he would not leave his sister.

“Unfortunately there is not room here for Kathryn. We will…” he didn’t get the chance to finish as Aidan stood up.

“Then we are both leaving,” snapped Aidan grabbing his sister by the hand.

Vintage Clothes, Big Ben and Peril

2010-02-08T12:28:00.002Z

So, Ben and I were in London, we'd been to see a football match. He stayed behind to do some footbally things whilst I went shopping. I could see big Ben (that's the London clock not some dodgy nickname for my man) I was walking towards it but I couldn't for the life of me find it. So, i abandoned my search for it and decided to find some vintage clothing shops.

I stepped into one, it had a lot of modern clothes. Mostly hip-hop style but there was a small section for vintage. I picked out a few things but most of the collection was in stupidly small sizes. I hung out there for a while and eventually went to go and try something on. There was only one changing room available and two men stood outside, like bouncers. I went in and went to shut the curtain but they attacked me and said that I was bad mouthing the business.

Cut to me still looking at the vintage clothes like it had never happened.

I ring Ben to find out how long he is going to be and he says that he'll be there soon.

To my surprise in walk a load of Mundesley friends including two of my best friends Donna and Laura. They are having a party for one of the boys and are in London for some food and drinks. They are all quite broke so they sit down on the sofas in the vintage section and begin to prepare a load of appetizers to eat before they go to their meal.

A lady from the bar walks through (no idea why there was a bar in this shop...) and sees the huge table full of food. "You can't eat that in here, any food you eat has to be purchased here." She then proceeded to tell them about a pub across the road where they could eat their own food.

It was chucking it down with rain so I told Donna and Laura to grab a second hand umbrella from the shop. At first they said no but I persuaded them. I asked Donna if she wanted a purple one.

"No, purple makes me look old I'll have one that is black and blue."

I picked her out a black/blue umbrella and laura a pink/purple one. They all then went on their way and I stayed in the shop.

Kirk, Zombies, A Punto and a Rubber Duck

2009-12-20T09:02:00.003Z

I was alone, climbing some stairs to get to a friend's flat where she was having a party. This friend was Effy from Skins. I climbed the stairs in a low ceilinged corridor, I then had the choice to go around to the right or straight up some more stairs in front of me. I called out for Effy and heard her voice around to the right. I went around, climbed more stairs, turned a corner, more stairs then opened the door and walked in. I saw a few people in the room before the dream faded out and I half woke up.

Upon getting back into a dream world I realised that I was now an extra in a sketch Stephen Fry was taking part in. We were in a queue for some fast food and the guy in front of us was being really annoying so Stephen was having a massive go at him until everyone was having a go.

We were then in another sketch, same fast food place but all of a sudden people started getting naked. All of them men. None were fit and this wasn't a sexy thing but they were naked and dancing a the side of the queue. One of them was all painted green, I was impressed by how he was /all/ green. The dream then flicked to that same staircase, I was going to Effy's party again. I was relieved to find out that I would finish the dream. It had been annoying it just fading out on me. I wanted a party.

I called out the same as before and went up to the right. Still, something was drawing me to the door in front of me. Something sinister. I ignored it and went to Effy's. Same thing again, I looked around at the people then the dream fizzled out. I was half awake again.

I got back to sleep and was in a hotel ready for some sort of conference. I was waiting at the lift when a couple in their 60's came to wait with me. We ended up chatting because the lift was taking ages. The man told me a story, here it is:

"We requested a wakeup call for this morning from one of the bell hops. The guy came into our room at seven am. I was in bed but, you know how it is when you sleep, the covers come off, you get hot. So he walked into the room and the covers weren't completely on me. I was, you know..." he made a gesture with his hand to signal that he'd had an erection.

In the dream this story was hiliarious but writing it down makes me feel a little sick.

That dream then fizzled out and once again I was on these stairs going to Effy's, I called out and ended up in her apartment. The door that was directly in front of me looking more inviting. I ignored it. Once again dream fizzled out and I woke up.

Upon falling back to sleep I was on my laptop in the garden of a really nice house. I was looking at my facebook pictures and realised I'd posted a dirty one of Ben. I took it down immediately. I then found that I had an email from my Mum entitled 'Frankie Porn' I didn't really want to know what it was. She then rang me asking how to add an attachment to her emails as whatever she'd done hadn't worked. I told her then moved on. I then received another email with all the Mundesley lot (my home village friends who I used to drink with) in an attached picture. They were in the pub clearly having a good time.

I then rang Mum to see if she had made the attachment work. She had. She then said something along the lines of "so it is you and Karen who are pregnant now."

I was like "WUT?"

I asked her how she knew I was pregnant when I didn't even know. She said she didn't want to tell me. I kept asking and she said it was because I was fat. *sigh*

I hung up on her only to ring her later on. "I want an abortion." I said simply.

"You'll have to make an abortion appointment."

"How do I do that?"

She then explained.

All of a sudden I was then at home on the sofa with Ben. I told him I was pregnant and he smiled. Actually smiled and I felt heartbroken as I told him I didn't want it and had booked an abortion appointment.

I then woke up and was so happy that I had done so! I hate dreams about being pregnant. I am nowhere near that point in my life. I fell asleep again and was in another, horribly vivid dream. I was standing by a small, sandy graveyard looking at some of the graves. There was one that said 'Adam Lloyd' - a friend of mine from Mundesley - I thought it couldn't be his grave and I got all scared. It took me a while to realise that it wasn't Adam's grave but someone who had been born in 1889. It was a relief.

I was taking photos of the graves. I had put down a yellow rubber duck in front of one of the graves that had a small mirror on it. I was getting reflective shots. I was with my friend Tim and Captain Kirk.

"Woah, can you see this?" Tim said

I turned around to see a loads of people just standing backs to us staring up a hill. Because we were already quite high up - I've no idea where we were but it wasn't England - we could see that there were loads of these people just standing. I took the opportunity to get a few photographs. On the last picture the flash went off. I thought nothing of it until the people started turning around.

Zombies.

Bloody zombies.

"In the car!" Tim shouted.

Kirk had ran into the graveyard to gather our stuff. "Get the rubber duck!" I told him and I know it was important to me. Kirk was ahead of me and handed me the duck.

We then piled into Tim's little blue Punto and off we went, running down a few zombies in the process.

We ended up away from the zombies and at a black of flats. I went in on my own only to realise that I was in the same staircase I'd been in during all the other little dreams. I was going to Effy's party again. I made the resolve to remember this dream, to concentrate on staying in the dream world. I tried to remember what it had all looked like so I could fill in the blanks if anything started fading out.

"Don't forget the guy on the sofa is wearing a sky blue jumpsuit." Kirk was behind me. I felt safe.

I called out to Effy and walked around the corner. The other door had no pull this time. I walked into the room. It all stayed solid for a few moment before it started flickering. I had to concentrate so hard to get it to stay where it was. It flickered but I kept it all there.

Once everything was staying solid, Kirk walked over to the window to look down at the gardens and street below. The garden he was looking into was the same one that I'd been in with my laptop earlier in the dream. I sat in a circle with Effy and her friends as we passed around a spliff. The spliff was somewhat soggy and floppy. Not good. I didn't have much.

I then picked up a small yellow t-shirt and realised it was important. Its importance had nothing to do with what it was but I knew I had a quest.

We then left Effy's and went back to Tim's car. Kirk got in and I was looking down the road feeling a bit strange. There were then sirens. The police were after us for running over the zombies. There wasn't time for me to sit in the back of the car. I opened the driver's side and half sat on the driver's seat with Tim. He was in charge of gears and pedals, I was steering.

Everything went a bit GTA, I had mini map in my peripheral vision, I could see the flashing blue and red lights. We drove fast and dangerous. We ended up on a motorway and were hitting a lot of cars. At one point it looked like we'd lost the back end of the car but we were okay. Soon we lost the police and pulled into a wide, seemingly abandoned driveway. We needed to rest.

Tim stayed in the car and Kirk picked the lock to the house, we went inside to gather supplies. As we were thinking about leaving. I realised the whole purpose of my quest. The t-shirt symbolised friendship between Kirk and James Norrington. I had to make sure they were reunited. I told Kirk this and he nodded, he wanted to desperately to be reunited but it was too dangerous to go back to Effy's house.

I told him that we'd be able to make it. He smiled then nodded. We quickly left the house and as we were getting into Tim's car a van pulled up. It was the owner of the house. He quickly realised his house had been broken into and that we were the culprits. He started shouting for someone to catch us.

The way we had to get out of the drive was by driving around the back of the house. We had to drive between bollards. It was tricky and we had to take it slow. Kirk handed me a gun. It was a shiny silver FNP .45 ACP handgun. It was so beautiful.

"Wave it around as if you are going to shoot, it should stop them from pursuing us."

I undid my window and I began to shoot. It was different from running over the zombies. These were people coming out of their houses to help the man. I shot them. I missed a few times but I got some hits. They were looking directly at me as I killed them.

We eventually drove through all the bollards and get back onto the main road. It was deserted now. No people, no zombies. We had to stop as a jaguar had set up camp in the middle of the road. It growled at us. There was a mum jaguar and a dad jaguar and a little baby.

We got out of the car to sort of move them along. Instead the mum jaguar launched itself at me grabbing my gun hand. I used my last two shots to shoot it in the head. I then grabbed baby jaguar and slammed it on the ground. Dad jaguar took a bit more to kill. IT was brutal. I hated myself.

We were on the road again and we knew that wild animals were moving into the towns and cities taking over where humans had left off. Effy's apartment was no longer safe but we had to get back there for James Norrington. We reached the apartment. Once again Kirk and I went up the stairs. We went around to the right and up more stairs. I asked Kirk to check for jaguars.

He peeked around the corner. "Jaguars" he said simply. I darted around the corner and grabbed the adult one, then signaled for Kirk to open the little window in the corridor. He did and I threw the angry cat out. We walked past its babies and I felt horrible again.

Walking into the apartment Effy was no longer there but James Norrington, dressed modernly and looking beautiful, was there. He and Kirk embraced and then kissed.

I then woke up.

Freaky Dream

2009-12-17T09:37:00.002Z

It's actually quite difficult to remember but I know that I woke up feeling very, very wrong. I was with a small group of people and we were running from something. It was as if our family members had turned into zombies and we had to run from them. I remember the dream flicking back and forth between my family being friendly and my family being scary.

I know it was a really good story how we escaped from them but I just can't remember it...

Then I was pregnant. I was walking around being pregnant and telling people about it. I then went to a party and had to pop back to my friend Donna's house to fetch some stuff for her. It was a new house I'd never been in before so I didn't know where her room was.

"Make sure you don't go in any of the other rooms, its where the lodgers live."

I ended up going into a room that clearly wasn't Donna's. I freaked out a bit. Eventually found her room and picked up the milk and tampon she wanted. All the milk was labeled with each house mate's name so no one used the wrong milk...

I was then chatting to a ginger girl who I know (and don't really like) from our village. We were talking about my pregnancy. I told her that I was actually going to get rid of the baby.

I then went to a bar where all my friends were to tell them that I was getting rid of the baby. It was a horrible thing to do. I was standing at the bar with my hands on it thinking, 'god this is a bad dream.' Ben, my boyfriend, was standing next to me looking concerned.

"I think this is a dream, I'm going to try and pull myself out of it." I tried to get out of the dream, as I did I saw Ben fading away. I half realised that if this were a dream then maybe I was dreaming Ben too.

"Ben..." I said as I faded out of the dream and into consciousness.

I heard myself say the dream in real life. I looked over and Ben was sleeping by my side. No pregnancy, nothing. It was such a relief.

The Mushroom Does the Talking

2009-12-15T09:50:00.002Z

I was in the throws of a Christmas party. My friends Estelle and Sarah were there, Estelle was very drunk and asleep in the dining room, I go her a blanket and continued with the party. I popped outside to see my Grandma in the fenced off area, I joined her and asked what she was doing.

"I'm looking for the old Mushroom, the one that talks." She was poking around with a stick. She found the old Mushroom who groaned and turned away. Grandma shrugged, "I just wanted a conversation."

I then went back into the house and into the living room. An old school friend Katie was in there watching Hollyoaks. She laughed at me for only knowing the name of the skankiest one. I watched it for a bit but wasn't hugely interested.

I then went back into the garden to sit down with the rest of the party and have some food. Jack Davenport was talking to the old Mushroom, he looked quite scared when he returned. I asked him what was wrong.

"I'm being tested. Apparently I'm not worthy." He then went into the kitchen and started to cook the Christmas dinner. That was part of his test. I helped him and his eyes soon lit up when he pulled a packet from the cupboard.

"Oh, but we have chirozo and cheese twists!" he opened the oven and put them in. Everything was okay again.

Sites I Love

2009-12-11T14:54:00.003Z

www.feelingstylish.co.uk
My fashion blog. A bit more serious than this one.
www.blog.interflora.co.uk
The Interflora blog, full of flowery goodness, tips, tricks and awesome.
www.minimins.com
Weight Loss forum
www.jettica.deviantart.com
My Art
www.twitter.com/jetlbomb
My Twitter

Sylar Dream

2009-12-11T10:44:00.002Z

I was at the airport with Dad waiting to see him off on his way to Cuba. He needed some tobacco so we popped into a little shop just outside the airport. I was having a look around whilst Dad was talking to the shop keeper. When I looked up I realised it was Sylar. I freaked out a little bit as Dad gave him his card to pay for what he'd bought.

Sylar didn't have a chip and pin machine. It was all a bit dodgey.

"Dad, I don't think you should be doing that..." I said as I walked closer. There was then a flurry, a moment of blankness and it seemed like we were captured. Sylar walked us out of the shop, we went pretty quietly. He was then talking about a cigarette he was smoking.

"This is strawberry tabacco rolled in gold paper. I'm smoking about a million dollars worth of cigarette." He grinned widely before taking a drag. He then put his arm around me, holding me tightly, almost threateningly. He offered me the cigarette and I took it, taking a long drag, it tasted good as I inhaled. I was no longer scared, I felt special to be smoking an expensive cigarette.

Dad got away, Sylar let him go. Dad wasn't leaving me, helpless and alone. I was important and could clearly handle myself. I recall Sylar was wearing a white shirt and black trousers. I put my arm round him and can vividly remember the feel of his shirt and how slim he was.

I don't remember much else but there was a lot of running up an down stairs...

Lunch Time creativity - Unedited...

2009-12-01T14:15:00.002Z

Tain stirred, her head was pounding and she felt as if she'd gone twenty rounds with a boxer. Slowly green eyes flicked open to reveal the scene around her. There has clearly been a party, not that Tain remembered such a thing. Slowly she dragged herself into a sitting position and looked around the living room, it seemed to be empty but there was still a stereo playing and plastic cups littered the floor. The brunette sighed and got to her feet, this was not her house and she had no idea how she'd arrived here. Her hangover explained the memory loss and the fact that it was such a good hangover meant that she must've had a good time.

She exited the living room in search of an exit, she was fully clothed and wearing shoes so she presumed that she was ready to head home. This had happened before and she'd ended up in cities miles away from where she had originally started, if that was the case here then she wouldn't be happy. No doubt she'd gone to a club and been invited back to some sort of house party, that could've been a house party down the road or an hour's taxi ride away. for now there was no way of telling. Tain jumped as she reached the entrance hall of the house, lying in the middle of the floor was a young man, early twenties perhaps, he was covered in blood and clearly dead. It took a few moments to process but soon Tain had walked round him, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the bottom of the stairs and was out of the house.

Before she had time to think about what was going on she needed to get a good distance from the house, she was used to this sort of situation but never under these circumstances. In her line of work she'd always been more careful and would always ensure that she cleaned up after herself. In this case she had no idea whether the body in that house was down to a drunken fight between her and the man or someone else. Either way Tain needed to get away, it seemed to still be early morning, it was cold outside and the sun was just peaking over the rooftops.

The area seemed to be mainly residential and not somewhere that Tain recognised. She walked for a little while, taking in the surroundings, how she felt and trying frantically to remember what had happened. She was dressed in black jeans and a black tank top, the relisation that she had a smear of blood, red blood, not her's, along her left arm possibly confirmed the fact that she'd played some part in the dead body that was lying in that house. Quickly she wiped of the blood and continued on her way, there were few cars around which was good but if the sun was anything to go by people would soon be rising and heading out to work.

It was cold and Tain regretted not stealing some sort of coat from that place. The bottle of whiskey was half empty and even frequent swigs were doing little to keep her warm. Soon people would be bustling around and taking her for some sort of dishevled drunk that had failed to find their way home the previous evening. That was sort of true but it wasn't the sort of attention Tain needed. The area was slowly becoming more built up and people were emerging from their houses, jumping in cars and heading off. Tain had been walking for just under an hour and although the sun was higher in the sky it wasn't providing any sort of warmth.

Tain dug one hand into her pocket and felt the soft caress of a note, she pulled it out and realised it was a £20. Now to find a bus or a taxi, a bus would be preferable she had little desire to tell a taxi driver where she lived. Plus a bus would give her some sort of indication as to where she was and where she would end up.

Although she had been in London for a few years now she certainly didn't know every suburb. The fact that she couldn't see any high rise buildings suggested that she was quite a way out of the city. She could be walking for hours without seeing some sort of suitable transport, she had no phone and no jacket. What had she been thinking coming all this way out here? She used to pride herself on keeping a clear head when she was drunk and it wasn't often that there were gaps this vast in her memory. She finished off the last of the bottle and found herself pleasantly drunk once again, she wiped the neck of the bottle where she had been holding it on her shirt before throwing it into a nearby bin.

Soon a bus stop loomed in front of her, some remnant of city life. It had a bench and a time table. The time table, however was somewhat useless as she didn't know what the time was. She sat herself down anyway and concluded, by the amounting number of cars, that it was around 7am. There, in theory, should be a bus in just under half an hour. A further study of the time table showed that the last stop on the bus route was Soho, that was thirty stops from her current location. That would take her straight home but would take almost two hours. Being a car driver Tain did not care to greatly for public transport, the tube was just about bearable but not a rush hour. She always needed control, especially over vehicles, she knew how each little intricacy worked in their engines and how they maneuvered, having a human in charge of that made her nervous. The haze that had been achieved from topping up her alcohol levels had dulled the headache and nausea of the hangover but had not succeeded in warming her up. Only huddling herself into the corner of the bench made any difference and then very little. People often talked about how hot and stuffy buses were and Tain hoped that those people were correct. A hot and stuffy bus may have been her only choice but it was sounding like a very good one. It turned out that it was actually earlier than Tain had anticipated, a clock somewhere far away struck seven times before leaving an eerie silence in the air. That meant that she still had half an hour to go until the bus arrived. That half an hour swung by, Tain sobered up and sat shivering as the bus pulled up.

She paid the fare to Soho and sat herself at the back of a the bus right under a heater. Although she wouldn't have exactly called it hot on the vehicle it was much more bearable than the early morning cold of outside. Only a few minutes into the journey a police car whizzed past in the opposite direction, Tain wondered if someone had discovered the body. She didn't care about the life she may or may not have taken but she did care about getting caught. She could talk her way out of most situations and when she went about her work she cleaned up after herself. This had clearly been spontaneous, possibly self defence, she'd had no chance to clean up after herself. It was an unknown situation and that was a little scary.

Soon the landscape started to look like the one she recognised and that was comforting, Soho soon rose up around her and the bus came to a halt. Tain hopped off the bus and headed in the direction of her bar where she hoped she'd find some way of getting in. Trying the door handle to the back of the bar she found that it was open and wondered if she had left it open or if she'd have to fire someone again. She was grateful for the warmth that hit her and looking around she soon reliased that everything was as it should be. No one had broken in. She made her way to the office only to see her bar manager asleep in the office chair, Tain couldn't help but smile. She moved to sit on the edge of the desk before leaning close to the sleeping female. "Ella," she whispered. The manager awoke with a start and Tain grinned, "It's almost ten, have you been here all night?"

Ella gave Tain a wide grin when she realised who it was that was looming over her, "no I got in at nine, that night was catching up with me."

The knowing smile that Tain then received made her wonder if she'd been drinking with Ella the previous night. "I have no idea what happened last night. I've spent most of this morning not knowing where the hell I was." She smiled although she didn't feel too proud of the fact that she remembered nothing.

"I didn't see you after three, you were chatting to some guys."

Tain rolled her eyes, "tell me about it later, I need to have a shower and get some sleep. I feel terrible. Don't open the bar until twelve if you want to rest." With that she got up and left.

Last Nights Dream

2009-11-25T15:15:00.002Z

Now the details here are a little fuzzy so please bear with me. The first part I remember well, the rest will be a series of things I recall...

Alex and I were in bed (not in a sexual way, more of a sleep over sort of way.) I awoke then tried to wake Alex, she wouldn't awaken. I was shouting at her that she must wake up as we had a mission to go on. Spock then walked in... (Apparently Vulcans don't knock.)

Then our mission was something to do with flying through the narrow corridors of a gold structure (a pimped Death Star perhaps?) There was something wrong with Spock, something to do with the Pon Farr.

There was also a goblin, slash, X-wings, peril and a rescue.

Damn I wish I could remember.

2009-11-11T18:53:00.002Z

Rules:
~ If you don't have at least 8 OCs I wouldn't recommend this meme
~ Add on questions to this meme! It will make it bigger!
~ Enjoy!

1) First list all your OCs by first name so we can see your list of all your wonderful OCs:
1. Fabian
2. Tain
3. Cahal
4. Corbin
5. Olivia
6. Sebastien
7. Lily
8. Brenton

2) Who is your favorite OC?
Tain

3) Who is your least favorite?
Probably Corbin, haven't worked with him for ages.

4) Who is your most developed?
Tain

5) Which OC would you want to date if they magically came to life?
Brenton

6) How many girl OCs do you have? Boy OCs? It OCs?
5 boys, 3 girls

7) If you were stuck in a burning building what do you think the third OC on your list would do?
He'd just get out, he doesn't fuss around

8) Name one thing you regret about one of your OCs.
Buying Cahal as a doll and the sculpt not working and now I feel a little detached from him.

9) Which of your OCs do you think would make the best father/mother/it parent out of all your OCs and why??
Lily because she's intelligent, responsible and rich

10) Which of your OCs do you think will most likely be put in jail?
Tain

11) The eighth of your OCs was put into the future! What will their job be?!?
Still a cop

12) Name the first OCs catch phrase!
He doesn't have one

13) Do all your OCs live together or are they separated?
They are all pretty much separate. Although Fabian and Sebastien live together in doll form.

14) Are there any pairings that are in your OC list? (they can't be with someone else's)
No

15) Your seventh OC switched bodies with you for a day! How will they react at the end of the day?
I think she'd enjoy living the hectic life of a PR bitch

16) Your last OC just became a fifteen year old. What do they do?
Have fun!

17) Now randomly select a person on your OC list. Who was it?
Olivia, she needs more recognition. I luff her.

18) That OC you just chose? Yeah they think they are superman (even if they are a girl) and are on the roof about to jump off.
Yup, she's drunk again.

19) Are any of your OCs bored of this meme?
Most of them, yeah.

20) Would your second OC prefer the beach or the mountains?
Beach, it is hotter there.

21) Would your 5th OC battle a shark?
Nooooo

22) Which OCs hate each other?
Fabian and Cahal never got on.

23) Which OC did you create first? And last?
Corbin First Lily Last

Where'd 24 go?
No idea?

25) And if those two were fighting, who would win?
Depends how drunk Corbin was.

26) Are your OCs fat or skinny?
Skinny

27) What are your first 2 OC's favorite foods?
Fabian Chocolate and Tain curry.

28) If your listed OCs were in a fight to the death, who would emerge victorious?
Tain

29) There's a zombie attack and your OCs are stranded. Who do they elect to be their leader?
Tain

30) During said zombie attack, who's the first to die?
Olivia

31) Which one of these OCs do you think would have the most fangirls/boys?
Sebastien

32) Okay, so does OC number four have any last thoughts?
Not really...

33) If possible, what's your characters' height?
Most males are above 6ft. Girls vary between 5'4 and 5'8

34) Can your characters dance?
Olivia certainly can.

A BJD Update

2009-10-16T13:07:00.002+01:00

So, with the possibility of impending money I decided last night to look at which dolls I am planning. There are a few and as of last night there are now a few more. I've developed some new characters recently and believe they all need to come into existence for me to be happy.

Olivia - MNF Shushu - Without a doubt she will be my next doll, I've been thinking about her and planning her for ages, I really wish I had a MNF girl dress form to create clothes on so when Olivia arrives my little fashionista will have everything she could've imagined in her wardrobe. Her legs and things will be the same as Seb's so she can steal his trousers but she needs some dresses, shorts and tops.

Looks: NS, big bust, model legs. Blonde wig (mohair or fur), very fashionable, I'd love her to wear heels but alas the MNF girls don't have high heel feet. However, I do have a vague idea of how to make them...

Personality: Relatively quiet, average intelligence, loves to read, loves Shakespeare, loves to party and becomes som loud mouth slag when she does.

--

Tain Alzarius - I'm still stuck on her sculpt, a Feeple Ashley would be perfect but too big! - She is my most developed character, based on a race from Doctor Who I';ve created a huge epic back story for her along with a 600,000 roleplay containing her that I've done with my darling Kirby. She's Chulan, an alien, a fugitive princess. She's lived her recent life on earth as a bar owner and part time mercenary, mainly taking on high profile hits.

Looks: Dark hair, tanned, grey eyes, wears a lot of black. Loves her green coat.

Personality: Feisty, violent, defensive, doesn't handle her alcohol too well. Will shag anything that moves.

--

Lily Hadley - ?? - Well known author and psychologist, highly intelligent, is in a bad, horrible, violent relationship that she can't see the bad in. Ooo the irony.

Looks: Firey red hair, green eyes, willowy. Dresses very sharply, albeit sometime a bit conservatively. (I'll change that, I can't sew conservatively)

Personality: Intelligent, graceful, sometimes a little foolish, loves to write and make money. Very business minded. Seriously needs to learn to relax.

--

Rae - MNF Ruth? I'm thinking maybe a taller sculpt now I know how short MNFs are next to Fabe- This boy will be Fabian's saviour the doctor that pulls him from the spiral of depression you get from being pulled from the future by a LHC.

Looks: Ginger / orange hair, dark green eyes, skinny, not muscular, wear thick black framed glasses like some sort of emo doctor.

Personality: Caring although can be quite short with people if they annoy him. Clever, witty and a bit of a geek.

--

Brenton Moore- Junior Kid Delf Rigel? Size is an issue once again- Alcoholic, drugged up, unPC, police detective who doesn't take any crap and disregards any rule.

Looks: Dark blonde, short hair, dark blue eyes, wears a lot of suits and long coats. Tall.

Personality: Doesn't really like people, would prefer to work on his own all the time, can lose his temper quite easily.

--

Cahal Raclaw - ?? - I had this guy before as a Lati Blue Rucas but he just didn't work. Not sure I want to go down this route again and I'm pretty sure he'd have to be an SD.

Looks: Curly brown hair, dark eyes, tanned skin, wears lots of leather armor, big boots, owns many a sword, horse and large hat.

Personality: Very cold, unwilling to deal with other and somewhat lonely.

--

Corbin Marlon - ?? - Agressive, bitchy, rock slut. He is one of my oldest characters, lead singer of the band English Voodoo. I wonder how he and Seb would get on.

Looks: Short black, spikey hair, wears lots of PVC and shirts. Loves cowboy boots and over the top jewellery.

Personality: A bit of a bitch with no respect for women (or men for that matter) sleeps with his fans, punches journalists. A proper rock star.

--

Karl Wilder - German WWII Hauptsturmführer, yes a Nazi. Although he was just part of the SS and taking orders he did some bad stuff. He was also shot in his leg so walks with a lip. Don't feel sorry for him.

Looks: Tall, well built, blond haired, blue eyed. Wear an SS uniform, he likes the boots mostly.

Personality: All about duty, very stern, doesn't really get a chance to do anything but work. Must learn to chill out really. Not as fascist as one might think.

--

Ryssa - ?? - Post-apocalyptic war girl who might have some sort of strange power. Lives and works in a place called the santuary. Possibly from the same time as Fabian.

Looks: Petite, dark hair, dark eyes. Wears a lot of light armor so she can sneak around.

Personality: Outspoken, good with uzis.

Star Trek Dreams

2009-09-14T08:33:00.002+01:00

So last night, as a result of too much beer and cheese I had the following dream.

I was sitting down to watch Star Trek TOS with Ben and sort of got immersed in the first episode. Kirk, as in new Kirk, was on this desert planet watching a drill go down into the surface to dig up some chains. We saw the chains all rusty and Kirk was pulling them around talking about how they may have been used to chain some huge alien hundreds of years ago.

The ground then collapses and Kirk falls through, the next thing is I am in this huge room looking through the eyes of one of my characters, Tain. There is a man talking and although I cannot remember what he was saying I know he was scheming. It then cuts to Kirk, old Kirk, sitting in the Captain's chair waiting for something.

I, as Tain, walk through to a place and sit down against a wall. Next to me is William Riker and I get a bit excited. At a console not far from us is a lady all dressed in white with electricity sparking from her. Next Ian Holme walks in (obviously playing some character) dressed in a long, dark robe. After a few words he points at Riker, they exchange a heated discussion before the following:

"I know you, Doctor!"

I'm like, woah, Riker is the Doctor? Riker stands and faces the shorter man, he explains how this is far on in his timeline and for him after Enterprise D then before he can even do anything time lordy Ian Holme walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder. Purple shoots through Riker's body and Ian Holme says "Now when you try to hurt someone you will know their pain."

There's a fight and every time Riker fights back he is hurt. Electricity lady joins in. Finally Riker is floored and the room, full of what I expect were new recruits, clears. I, Tain, stay there and when the fight is over I stand and approach Ian Holme. Despie being on the Doctor's side I invite him to sit down with me behind some curtains to eat some food. All the while I can still see electricity lady flashing through the thin material of thr curtains.

Someone mentions heading to Earth to pick up the Enterprise.

Cut to Enterprise A, Kirk is sitting in the Captain's seat and Spock rushes to sit beside him. Instead of it being the conventional layout Kirk's and Spock's seats are one large seat. Like a Captain / First officer sofa. There is something wrong with the ship, it is intermittently losing power but the computer can't understand that there is anything wrong. Kirk and Spock take manual control to try and stop the ship from crashing into a nearby planet. Kirk's right hand grip's Spock's left knee tightly as they try and pull the ship upwards. There is a flicker of power and the engines kick in and they fly away from the planet safely.

Free Music - Dinosaur Pile Up

2009-08-05T12:37:00.002+01:00

Free music from the awesome leeds band 'Dinosaur Pile Up'
Head on over to:

https://fan.musicglue.com/sale/promoproducts.aspx?productid=ad11f843-a0f5-4372-9773-5bd4c72d4fe4

To Download their new single 'Cat Attack'

Hot men I totally would.

2009-07-30T22:09:00.006+01:00

Inspired by random Darkling ramblings.
This is the character list, no musicians or actors allowed.

Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood and Doctor Who)
The Master - (Doctor Who)
The Comedian - (Watchmen)
Sylar - (Heroes)
The Doctor - ( Doctor Who)
Tony Stark (Iron Man)
Nathan Gardener (Charlie Bartlett)
Sawyer (Lost)
Mohinder (Heroes)
Gregory House (House MD)
Jack Harkness (Again), Ianto Jones - (Torchwood)
Jack Bauer (24)
Spike (Buffy)
Captain John Hart (Torchwood)
(Same pic, two hotties)
Charlie (Lost)
Adam (Heroes)
Nathan and Peter Petrelli (Heroes)

Woah just reread an old post about The Darkness

2009-07-27T11:10:00.002+01:00

Just read on old post about my feelings on The Darkness, what they meant to me and how everything ended. Now, I very much look forward to listening to The Darkness and trying to rid myself of the bad nostalgia and replace it with the good.

I love Hotleg
I like the Stone Gods
And I really miss the Darkness
I don't regret anything that happened with the Six and Optimum Impact. I love it, I love those boys and I love my sisters.

However, I will NEVER become involved like that as a fan again. It hurt.
Urgh, politics.

Icky.
*vom*

One Word

2009-07-27T11:05:00.001+01:00

Soil - New Prompt from www.oneword.com
(Possibly follows on from the first one of these I did - Spray)

Pushing the plants into the soil she sighed loudly. Once again she was here, in the middle of the night still trying to make this greenhouse the way she had intended. She wanted to make it beautiful, full of beautiful flowers, huge bushes and things she could use in the kitchen. These herbs would be a brilliant addition to every recipe.

Oneword

2009-07-24T10:58:00.001+01:00

Paws - New prompt from www.oneword.com

A heavy paw came down on the sand and the cat stretched its whole body pushing it's rear in the air before lying down and settling its head on its from paws. The air was humid and there was no wind to carry to smell of prey. The cat closed its eyes wondering when it would next be able to eat.

I did have another dream last night but I don't really want to relive it in writing format it was about rape. Although I did buy a very nice footstool in it for £45, it was blue and white.

Why can't I have dreams about Riker or Captain Jack.

2009-07-23T09:46:00.000+01:00

Twine - prompt from www.oneword.com

The cat batted at the ball of twine, it went spinning across the floor a single string being left behind awaiting a pouncing. The cat launched itself in the air and came down hard on the unraveled piece of string, it had caught it's prey and was now ready to take it's winnings back to its master.

Nightmares

2009-07-23T09:22:00.002+01:00

So I had another terrible dream last night. Possibly one of the worst.

So, another of David's friends, I know who this one was but I'm not going to mention any names (unless you email me) because although I HATE him with a passion I'm not into slander. So he was doing something in my house, just wrecking it, I was panicking, Dav (my Bro) came along once this chav had gone and told me not to go into the house because my cat had been killed.

I was furious, Powder is my perfect little kitty, it pains me not to live with her any more so finding out she had been killed by a chav that I hate infuriated me. I was then on the hunt to find him, he went into hiding because he knew I would fucking kill him. Dav helped me and we went into this super market, I saw this chav run into and aisle, Dav was ahead of me I pointed to the aisle so he could cut the chav off. As I ran into the aisle Dav was already kicking the shit out of this chav. I joined in and we left him there bloody and unconscious. HAAH!

I then went to get the cat box so we could take Powder to the vet to get a little kitty coffin. He white fur was bloody and wet but as I picked up the cat box she Meowed! SHE WAS ALIVE! I was so happy, thank god my head made her back alive. <3

I hate that Chav.

Today's Oneword.com

2009-07-22T11:17:00.001+01:00

Growing:

And it sat there, slowly growing, a minute amount,not enough so that anyone could see but it knew. That little green plant knew that it was growing and knew that one day it would be a tree, a great big tree. It would tower over all the puny little plants and would be perfect, perfect in brown and green with leaves the colour of emeralds, the envy of the tree world.

Bits of last nights dream,

2009-07-22T11:11:00.002+01:00

I don't remember all of last night's dream, it's a bit weird.

So my brother and his mates were on the beach, one of his brother's mates who had longish blond curly hair did something that really pissed me off like so much that I wanted to kill him. We had a bit of a fight. I was then at my Dad's house (which is the house I grew up in) and I saw my brother sneak off into the woods at the end of the garden. A few of his friends then followed and I had around the corner near the kitchen to attack this one boy again. I remember something about running after him but never being able to catch him, I'm sure that means something.

Then I was getting on a flight with Jules to go to Spain, she was telling people that they weren't allowed hand luggage but no one was listening until a flight attendant said it.

Then I was in a bar with Siavash and someone else from big brother.
Strange...

2009-07-21T09:44:00.000+01:00

New prompt 'Angels' from www.oneword.com

There were angels all around her and she wondered what she was going to do once they descended. Their fangs were at the ready and the girl froze, hands over her head just waiting for the angelic blows to come. This situation was hopeless and it was only the devil and his hounds that could save her. One deep breath, there was no sound just the silent loom of a heavenly beast.

The Dolls are taking over.

2009-07-21T09:08:00.003+01:00

Another doll dream;

Alex and I were talking about buying more dolls so we went on the Lati site and ordered two Lati Yellow girls for our selves. She decided on one with natural makeup and freckles and I decided on one with silver makeup. I also decided on a 52cm doll and another MSD. I got a call from my dad a little while later saying he had some post for me, he handed me an envelope first that was something boring then a huge box that was obviously from Lati.

I opened it outside and stood up the two yellows I couldn't work out who was who's at first because it had been so long since we'd ordered them. I then got out a taller, naked girl and then an even taller boy. The boy's faceup was really girly so I had trouble working out which character I had intended him for.

I called Alex and she came over, we realised that her Yellow had freckles so we began to dress our dolls in their chosen styles. My Yellow came out as some sort of cabert dancer.

I then went to dress the girl doll and realised that she was actually the 52cm and the msd was the boy. It was confusing. I was going to do a photoshoot of the new boy and Fabian despite having him paired with Seb because Seb still was headless. I then looked at Seb's body on the mantlepiece and his head was there!

--

There was then a jump and the dream was no longer doll based. I was walking down magdelene street in Norwich and up ahead was a load of cameras and microphone filming something. I thought it was just the news or something uninteresting. I stood next to a man looking around, someone then approached us beckoning for us to move. We did so and then suddenly we were in shot, we were extras. I then saw Hugh Laurie and realised that we were in an episode of House, there was an explosion and the man put his arm aroudn me, he was my father in the episode. I was acting my arse off looking around at people, feigning fright, I was awesome.

Another jump and it seemed as if I was in the same place where the explosion had happened but this time it was real and I was on my own. Some woman threw a bomb into this place where there were some people, it looked like an old office block. The place blew up.

A jump again and I'm replyying the scene again this time the bomb is thrown up onto the top of the building, it explodes and I realise that someone is in there still alive. It's Ben! Ohnoes, I go in get him out and he gives me a big hug, I then realise that he has a gunshot wound to the chest. I call the paramedics and the woman gives Ben a piggy back to the ambulance.

Jump again and I'm in the same building but it is a toy shop, in there on the table is a laptop, I 'borrow' the laptop, which happens to belong to a gangster, and check my email. As I'm clearing the history I hear people coming. I run off then realise that I left an Emu Oil email open so they know it is me. It was such a scary feeling. Then I awoke.

Blue Whale?

2009-07-19T09:36:00.002+01:00

Right this dream could be the effect of a lot of drink yesterday including loads of RedBull, I'm still a bit drunk now so my apologies for typos, incoherence etc.

--

So Mum and I had been invited to a sample session, basically two big trailers of free samples for us to try out. We were looking around taking what we needed and I saw these Dollmore figurines I was confused as to why Dollmore were giving away small figurines. I walked around to the otherside of the table and they were giving away SD heads. I really didn't need SD heads the only full dolls I could see was a smallish doll that wouldn't fit in with my MSDs. I then saw a doll in a box that said 'Blue Whale' on the box.

Then Alex came along and it turned out Blue Whale was a really expensive, elite sculpt. I picked it up and also it was an SD it was gorgeous. I decided that I would have it and Alex told me that it was one of those ones that people would want me to dress exclusivly in Blue Whale clothes. I took - I then cut to after the doll was painted and dressed. He was Brenton, he had this wry smile that was simply beautiful, he had a dark blonde wig, dark eyes and he wasn't as tall as some SDs. He must've been about 50cm tall so I put him next to Sebastien, I think Seb fell in love there and then (Seb was wearing a black wig, leather jacket and leather trousers. He looked amazing.) Seb was sort of holding onto Brenton's arm, which I'm not sure my detective was too keen on.

I don't know what this doll was, where the image came from or where I can find him but I know now that Brenton can't be a Limho Mono he has to be a very tall, somewhat chunky MSD with a somewhat sarcastic little smile.

60 seconds worth of writing prompt

2009-07-15T14:39:00.001+01:00

Very impressed with www.oneword.com.

Wrote this from the prompt 'Spray.'

I sprayed the plants aimlessly as I thought about the people that I was missing back home. I had no one here, no one to go to, no one to love. I thought moving away would be a relief. I thought it would be an amazing new adventure, instead here I was spraying my plants in my new green house just after midnight. this was not the life I had envisioned for myself.

My subconscious and the Wildhearts

2009-07-15T10:05:00.002+01:00

For as long as I can remember I've been a fan of the Wildhearts but have sort of lost touch with new releases and stuff. A combination of getting all excited about going to see them in Sept and talking to a friend about them has spurred this dream.

--

There I am sitting at the back of a huge auditorium with Adele, Katy, Helen. Looks like we were on some sort of school or college trip. The Wildhearts were playing and I was wondering why they sounded different but it was because CJ was singing instead of Ginger. After the song ginger introduced the finalists of a competition for someone to play with them. Although the person had been chosen every one got to sing on stage.

Gig over and a woman a few seat in front of us (actually a really arsey lady from Come Dine With Me last night. Charline?) she starts shouting at these finalists causing one to cry. Adele and I look at one another eyebrows raised, we feel the need to get out of this place and get on our lives. Mrs Hindle (a History teacher from my highschool) joins in loudly and Scottishly telling the contestant that we are not here to see her cry. Mrs Hindle then starts welling up.

We know that if we try to leave we will get in trouble so we try and sneak out, we were at the back, furthest from the door. However, behind us was a small panel and some stairs leading up, we slide out of our seats and run up the stairs Adele first. Before the rest of us are even half way up Adele comes darting back down saying there is no way through. Opposite the stairs is a steep hill leading through some old grey brickwork into what looked like a basement. We decided to go that way. There were them some steps leading back up again.

We began to climb the steps then I awoke.

Last nights randomness

2009-07-14T11:37:00.002+01:00

Now I didn't want this blog to be a dream diary but it is sort of turning out that way. It was such an exciting dream and I was so disappointed when it turned out to be my head fucking with me.

--

So there is a shop and Ben and I decide to go into it, it has very little rooms on different levels and is just full of stuff. It was beautiful. So we were looking round and Benny found some things that he wanted to buy. He did so and we continued to look around, I'd heard that this shop sold BJDs so I was looking everywhere for them. I finally find a tiny Unoa kit for £250.49.

I wanted an MSD sized Unoa so I was a bit disappointed, not that I could ever afford one. So Ben went down to pay for his thing and I asked the cashier if they had any MSD Unoas. She said yes and that she would get someone to fetch one. It was £449.50. They then put it in the bag with everything else and Ben and I moved on to go and see his Grandad.

When we arrived home, I sat in the middle of the floor (the house wasn't our house it was Dad's.) I began to open the box then I said, "you don't think they charged you for this did they?" Ben then tried to use my Iphone to access his internet banking, it wouldn't work. Then I woke up.

Some underlying interperetation to be done, something along the lines of dolls are going to undo all the hard work I've done with saving money. Tis true.

First Faceup

2009-07-13T21:34:00.002+01:00

So today I decided to embark upon the adventure of painting my floating head's face up. For those of you that know nothing about Ball jointed dolls, let me explain. The whole hobby is about customisation, amongst other things, and a lot of people paint the heads of their dolls to change its look whilst others get the manufacturers default faces. (The paint on a doll's head is called the 'faceup')

Here is the head before I'd even touched it.

Pretty unexciting.
Firstly I applied a few coats of MSC
I then applied eyebrows using a stencil I made from masking tape. It looked alright.
More MSC
Then I blushed in all the places you'd expect there to be pinkiness.
More MSC
Then the lips. Smudged them right at the end.
Washed the whole thing off. (Not very well, you'll see what I mean later)

Second attempt
MSC base coats
Drew eyebrows on holding the head upside down, no stencil. Drew on with pencil, think that's naughty. Then used a q-tip to brush black pastel over when I'd drawn the lines.
Then drew on somefiner lines within this pastel using pencil. (o.0)
MSC
Then for the lips, put red acrylic all over the lips, struggled to get it even. Still isn't quite.
More MSC
Then used pastel on the inside of the eye sockets and un the crease above the eye. This looked okay, made it into a sort of 20's style cat eye flick. Even better.
Then added flicky eye lashes. Got over excited here, they looked better before I added more liner on the lower lid.
More MSC
Blushed all the bits that needed to be blushed and added lip lines. (Need to do this with a water colour pencil, did not get the intended effect just some sort of mess.)
Cleaned up lip lines. Less mess.
Final coat of MSC

You can see on the right hand side of the picture near the nose the slightly darker patch, this is the blushing I didn't wipe off properly. It was also before the blushing and lip lines.

In natural light. Before blushing and lip lines. There are a few smudges in between the eyebrows. I noticed this too late so couldn't get rid of it.

Finished! Here you can see on the right hand side where I didn't remove the old faceup properly.
Lip lines also not great.

In a wig more suited to the face up colour and normal skintone (NS).
Lips need gloss, not quite even.
She also needs something to give her upper lids more definition. Not sure what though.
Eyelash detail is quite good I think.

Comments appreciated!

<3

Continuing the random dream theme.

2009-07-13T13:23:00.002+01:00

I'm not sure if last night's dream was bad or not. It involved a life size TARDIS puzzle where people could buy different bits. Because people had different parts to this puzzle my Mum suggested that we hold a fair so everyone can put the bits together. So, we held a really successful fair that ended up with me sleeping outside on a camp bed.

<3

Long time no post - Some links and a rant:

2009-07-13T09:49:00.002+01:00

First of all ladies and gentlemen may I pop you in the direction of these two sites:

www.emu-oil-well.com

www.feelingstylish.wordpress.com

Secondly may I have a small rant about Torchwood and the poor writers who are getting flamed by unhappy fans. I'm not going to spoil too much if you've just stumbled upon this little site but someone dies, well a lot of people die. But someone who I like, I was sad, had a little cry then got on with my life.

It seems that, on twitter especially, that people have been moaning at James Moran (writer) for how the story panned out. All I can say to him is bloody well done, ignore these so called fans and congrats on producing a moving, exciting, telly show.

<3

You can read what he had to say here:
http://jamesmoran.blogspot.com/2009/07/stepping-back.html

Free cinema showing, random dream and heading to the cinema

2009-06-23T16:04:00.002+01:00

So, I get a facebook message yesterday from Alex asking me to come to a free showing of 'Sunshine Cleaning,' today at midday. I agree, do my night time things then go to be ready for the funness that the following day would bring. Clearly excited about this whole prospect I dreamt about what was to come today.

----
..Dreamage:
So there I am going to meet Alex for 12:30 when the movie starts. We were actually wrong and the movie had started at 12pm. So instead we end up hanging out in the lobby with Stephen Fry, Richard Attenborough (The guy from Jarassic Park) and Frank Turner (Awesome singer, please buy his stuff I can't enforce the awesomeness.) So Davey is also there and I turn to her and say "I'm standing next to Stephen Fry."

She looks at me incredulously, like she can't see that he is standing on the otherside of me, "oh my god, no way."

I then move to stand next to Frank Turner and he puts his arm around me, after a while I decide to go and get a drink. When I come back Frank is standing next to Alex with his arm around her. Alex looks at me in a confused fashion and says "who is this guy?" I explain his awesomeness.

----

So back to real life. Alex and I arrive at the cinema for 11:30am, the tickets say the film starts at 12:00, just before 12:00 we are let in, we get out seat in the cinema and sit chatting for a while. It gets to quarter past and we are like 'seriously, where is this film.' We moan a little bit but in good spirits, we have nothing better to do. At twenty five past a cinema lady comes in and apologises for the wait 'See Film First,' the company that gave us FREE tickets, had gotten the tickets wrong they were supposed to be 12:00 to show up for a 12:30 start. Alex and I are like, 'oh, well that's okay.'

This bloke behind up starts shouting that they were told the film would be done at 1:30, well it blatantly would be. This woman a few rows in front of us starts moaning that it is the cinema's fault when it blatantly isn't.

How the fuck can she moan about a showing for a FREE film starting half an hour late, if she had to be somewhere she would've gone she wouldn't have lost any money from it. By the end of this lady's rant Alex, myself and the few rows around us were pissing ourselves laughing at the woman who has the audacity to complain about a Free film.

It was Free, shut the hell up.

On another note my dream knew the film would start at 12:30pm.

2009-06-21T22:35:00.001+01:00

-- I'd like to present you with a snippet from the novel I am writing with a friend. Comments appreciated. --

Sudden blackness, the door was closed, freedom was gone. Ryssa turned quietly to look back into the depths of the tunnel, the deep breathing of the tunnel hound echoed around the small space, she raised her gun, pointed in the vague direction she expected the beast to be, she pressed the trigger and let a stream of bullets. Finally, her gun clicked signalling that she needed to reload, in the darkness she fumbled for another clip, it was on her belt. There had been no yelp, no sound from the beast other than the low, ominous breathing and now Ryssa’s ears were ringing with the sound of gunfire, she couldn’t hear the sounds of breath but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

Still trying to find the clip on her belt as her ears became used to the near silence she raised her head as she heard the soft padding sound of an animal walking closer. There was no way she could’ve missed it, it was right in front of her, yet it was moving closer and closer. Her fingers curled around the curved shape of the clip, she pulled it out of her belt, and went to click it into place. However, before her hand had even the chance to bring the clip to the gun she could feel the terrifying warmth of a hound, as tall as she was, breathing down on her.

Freezing with fright all she could do was take in the scent of death on its jaws, her mind shot back to over ten years ago, she’d faced one of these creatures and lived to tell the tale. The smell on its breath and the harsh rasping sound it made on each inhale made her head flood with images from the night she’d heard her mother killed by one of these things.

Trying to gather he wits about her Ryssa forced her military training to the forefront of her mind pushing out the bad memories and bringing in the ones that mattered right then. She took a step back, feeling unnerved about being in such close proximity to such a huge animal. There was a rush of air and she knew to brace herself ready to feel the great animal land on top of her.

As she was pushed to the ground she felt her head hit the floor, her breathing was hampered and one great paw was pinning her gun to her chest. She couldn’t even shoot the beast; she struggled to breathe whilst its great form exceeded more pressure on her chest as it leant down. A great rasp of air in front of her told her that the hound was sniffing her; she closed her eyes and shielded her face with her free arm.

The biting, barking and growling she had been expecting never came, the blackness enveloped her; the smell, weight and sounds of the beast on top of her slowly trickled away.

Outside the tunnel Lieutenant Matthews was trying to override the security lock on the door they had just exited. Despite orders from other officers to leave the door and get to safety Matthews wasn’t one to leave someone behind. It had been quiet in the tunnel for some time now and he knew to fear the worst. This was a big risk opening the door when a great hound might jump out and they’d never know about it. He had been told that they preferred the blackness of the tunnels although he didn’t want to take that information as true and just have faith that the great dog would run off into the darkness.

There was a loud click in the silence as the door was released, Matthews took a deep breath and pulled back the door. Light flooded the tunnel, it looked so bright in comparison to its usual darkness, the Lieutenant signalled for everyone to stay back as he held his gun tightly in front of him. He ignored the steps into the tunnel and jumped down as softly as he could, his feet landed on the ground with a low crunch as if he’d landed on snow. He looked down at the ground that was illuminated by the greyness from outside, cloaking the ground was a fine grey powder that wasn’t there when they’d exited the tunnel just minutes ago.

It was then that he saw Ryssa lying motionless on the floor a few metres away, she had her gun clutched to her chest and one arm thrown over her face.

Tradition makes it so...

2009-05-29T12:23:00.002+01:00

Recently my brain has been making up the endings to lost. I doubt there are any spoilers in this post but just incase, please don't read if you haven't seen the end of the most recent series.

So there I am, dreaming away.

Myself, Sawyer, Julliette, Jack and Kate were running around the jungle trying to get away from the Dharma dudes. We are also being followed by papparazzi... Juliette is pregnant and wearing a red top, she'd finding it hard to move.

Next I can hear music and am on my own, I can hear a guitar and drums I walk through the trees to see Sawyer teaching Kate to play drums whilst he is on a red SG guitar. Nice. Juliette then comes along followed by the paps. Kate gives up her drum stool for pregnant Juliette, the cameras start clicking away on her. She tells everyone to 'shh' before pointing to a nearby cave and telling the paps to take photos of that because it is important. All of a sudden there is an explosion in the cave, the paps die as does Juliette (oh dear).

The rest of us then get captured and it begins to rain, my dream then cuts to a scene on Jack, Kate and Sawyer atop a jeep rolling through the mud. Everything looked liek a warzone rather than lush jungleage.

They were taking to a hut where Sayid was and I don't quite remember how but we got out. (There was something about scrabble...) We ran out and Jack got shot, I remember thinking thank god because I really don't like Jack. So we got out and it was all icy Sayid broke the ice of a puddle and chucked it at the guards trying to stab them. It didn't work. Then Sayid turned on us and started speaking in a Russian accent he told us that his real name was Valerie and that he was a bad guy. He showed us the gun that was tucked into the front of his grey sweat pants (I'm sure there's some significance here because that bit was really vivid.) He then starts kicking water from the puddles at us, laughing and saying that it was full of bleach.

I got the water in my eyes but it didn't sting like bleach it was just wet. So Sayid says, "there, Jessica, it's bleach it hurts."

And I was just like "No."

And that was that....

Possibly the most awesome dream ever!

2009-05-04T09:21:00.003+01:00

This dream was hilarious, it makes little sense but my dreams probably aren't supposed to be coherent. So, there I am in my old school, yet it didn't look anything like a school, I had to put makeup on Ben for another photographer to take photos of him, which was a little bit weird. There was also a big issue about me hiding my shoes from the teachers because they were my Louboutin shoes which have a red sole and apparently aren't allowed.

I was then with a load of old school friends, Adele, Helen, Katy etc and we were standing on a gravel track just off a main road. On the otherside of the road was a proper old school car, done up beautifully with flames, a proper rock car. In it was an old, quite good looking, rocker guy. Soon a load of other done up cars came to join him and they then all went roaring off into the forest.

I'm standing with Adele and chatting when Vernon Kay comes through the trees and grabs out attention. He needs us to follow him to get to boot camp. At this point I am feeling a bit worried because of how unfit I am I didn't want to have to run around in the mud chanting. We come out into this HUGE open field it is lovely and there is a food and sweet stand at one side. There are tents set up for us.

Adele and I choose a tent and sit ourselves down under a parasol, I took off my Louboutins and put all my stuff in the tent. Adele and I chilled out for a bit under our parasol, we then got some food, it was lovely.

There was a holodeck in this field, strangely. I went over to assist and as a Star Trek fan was a bit overwhelmed as I started to work alongside Riker, Data and Laforge. Something was wrong with the holodeck and there were some gas canisters about to go off unless the door to the holodeck was shut. For some reason it was jammed and we had to work to get it shut, as the gas from the canisters began to leak out Wesley Crusher came along, did something and the doors closed stopping the gas from getting into our boot camp.

I decided that as the crisis was averted that I could head back to my tent and chill out under the parasol. Adele had gone off so I was left to my own devices for a while, I was still a bit flustered from the whole Star Trek incident so I thought I'd sort out a big pile of Star Trek slash that I'd been writing. It was a big wedge of paper and it needed putting into a plastic wallet to stop it from creasing. So there I was having a bit of a fight with a plastic wallet and lots of paper. I was sitting on the ground leaning on a small wooden table.

Something distracted me and I looked away from my paper for a moment, when I looked back towards my paper I was surprised to see Commander Riker crouched down next to me, really close. So there I was with Star Trek slash which I knew contained a very graphic Riker / Worf scene, I hoped to god that nothing like it was mentioned in the page that was on top.

Riker tapped the pile of paper, "you know, you'd do brilliant at Star Fleet academy," he knew the papers were about Star Trek. I was, understandably, flustered he then spoke again, something about Worf, then left. I don't recall what he said but I remember thinking that he knew that I had been writing slash.

Then I woke up, squiggled to hell.
My mind is fucked up.

Weightloss and freebies

2009-04-03T14:29:00.000+01:00

Are you Feeling Stylish?

An Icon and some of my pics.

2009-03-18T11:02:00.002Z

More stupid fucking roleplayers

2009-02-13T21:51:00.002Z

I'm just going to get annoyed if I type about this so in brief.

Blahahrhghager! Roleplayer is in blue.

I think it would be fun if we have it so that the father died when the kid was really young and now he's basically a mafia leader and only, maybe, 21 or something.

In that case you can be him then hehe. I struggle with youngish characters.

What do you look at as young?

In roleplays 16-23, my characters tend to be 30ish. Obviously in real life its a bit different because I'm only 20.

... So 21 would be too young for you?

For me to play, yes, for me to play against, no.

Aren't you being really unfair? =S

I mean, if you're a guy that likes older guys then that's fine, but for you to say you can play a 16 year old while others you play with can't play someone of the age of 22. =S

Woah, no need to be rude! Hehe. You can play who you want, what I a saying is I generally create characters that are 27-35. You can be someone who is 16 or you can be someone who is 40. Doesn't bother me what age the character I play against is.

Captain Jack Harkness - The Stone Wolf.

2009-01-24T23:34:00.001Z

Holy shit, complete and utter mind fuck of a dream: I was in Wales in Penwyltt which is about 30 miles north of Cardiff, I was lost and being chased by something, there were strange noises in the woods and random bright items amongst the green/grey desolation that is the Brecon beacons. I see this house up a head, i know it is the one from Countrycide because I’ve been there, I look around and realise that I’ve lost all sense of direction and that there is another house to my left up a hill near some caves and stone. I realise that this is the house from Countrycide and the other one is similar but smaller and half over a lake, I know the Countrycide house contains cannibals so head to the smaller house, hoping to get some shelter and some safety.

As I approach the house I see that is has writing carved into it, words I couldn’t understand at first and symbols I’d never seen before. I continued around the house and jumped as I saw that there was a large wolf standing in front of the doorway. Relief washed over me as I realised that it was stone, for some reason then I related the writing on the house to this statue. It said something along the lines of “touch him and he will not bite you.” I don’t know how I read it, knew what it said or why I didn’t run but I simply patted the stone wolf on the head and tried to get into the house. Once I realised that I couldn’t I went to the back of the house near the lake and leant against it, hopefully out of the way of anyone or anything.

Moments later I have a snarling slavering wolf standing in front of me, as it gets closer its whole personality just changes; it is no longer a threat. It comes and snuggles its warm, white fur against me which is a relief. Moments later I am sitting snuggled up to Captain Jack Harkness, he has his arms around me and I have my head on his shoulder. I turn slightly and press my lips against his neck.

We go inside the house and Jack takes off his shirt, we got to bed and sleep, I feel safe from all that was going on outside. In the Morning Gwen and Tosh were there, Jack was walking around topless. Tosh is investigating the writing that is on the side of the house trying to get a full translation.

The stone wolf reappears and is once again real and Jack Gwen and I have to hide in the lake to get away from him, we struggle to pat him on the head. It’s only then that he was turn back to Jack.

I woke up before the conclusion. Lame.

2009-01-22T14:11:00.000Z

Note to self....
Don't cry and write all at the same time...

2009-01-22T02:41:00.002Z

I miss him, god how I miss him. Every inch of his beautiful body. It's horrible being without Benny, he is everyhting to me and I need him here. So sorry he is hurting, just three more nights of shitness to get through then that is that.

I want people to understand just how much I love him, how much I want him and how much I need him. My life would be incomplete without benny. He's amazing and I want to be with him forevah.

Ben, when you read this I want you to know that I love you, worship you and coild never live without you, these last few nights have beeen painful, I need you to lay against you. Need to hold you, to touch you to love you. You are amazing, my everything.
xx

Torchwood and BJD

2009-01-07T20:54:00.002Z

Back in the spring, one long storyline over 5 hour long episodes. I cannot fucking wait, I am currently in the throws of the most brilliant Torchwood roleplay and not slash, well not entirely slash. So in this roleplay is a character call Tain I won't go into who she is, it's complicated but I've found the doll that could be her.

I present the Ashley sculpt from Fairyland.
This is all.
Night
x

Stuff...

2009-01-05T20:11:00.001Z

So I'm having a party, snotted up to the eyeballs (that's a cold to you peoples) have sobered up and run out of alcohol. Yet i am having fun and need huggles.

Stuff I want to do this year. Sort of new years resolutions.

2009-01-05T11:19:00.002Z

Lose weight. Main thing, I'm on Wii fit every day, since Xmas day I've lost 4lbs not bad.

Get a job in the music industry - this is the year.

Stop biting my nails. I've stopped biting four so far... what's the point.

Be tidy so Ben doesn't hate me.

Stop over reacting and being stupidly emotional.

Stop spending!

Get more models, do more photoshoots.

The difference

2009-01-04T18:32:00.003Z

There's a difference between being grumpy/pissed off and being heartbrokenly upset. I'm sick of being made to feel like this, fair enough I started it, my fault, I apologise and it's still my fault. I can't win. I wish life was straight forward, simple, fun, tolerable. I need to get out of this stupid house I need to get somewhere where there are nice people that like me, who can take a joke.

I love him but I shouldn't have to feel like this, I shouldn't feel this shitty. God I hope the good times pick up a bit before the bad times begin to outweigh them. Don't know what I'd do without him, I'd probably be happier logically but I am not logical. I have no common sense. Apparently.

Fucking hell, what should I do.

Best-thing-ever

2008-12-23T10:35:00.001Z

Jack Black, Ben Stiller & Robert Downey, Jr. at 2008 MTV Movie Awards by Robert Downey Jr

Sixteen Things

2008-12-02T19:51:00.002Z

Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 8 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I can point out most of the differences between the Lord of the Rings Books and Films.

2. I collect Expensive Asian Ball Jointed Dolls.

3. Men kissing one another is so hot.

4. Girls kissing one another is hot, although not quite as hot as men kissing.

5. I have a MENSA worthy IQ

6. I have no geographical knowledge what so ever.

7. If I have a glass or mug or something I drink from it has to line up with where I put it. For example a pint glass on beer mat has to either be exactly central or flush with the corners.

8. I can wire a car stereo, speakers, sub and amp.

9. I know far too much about old Audi Quattros (*wants*)

10. I am going to work in the music industry full time and show everyone that it isn't a stupid dream, I'm gonna fucking do it and a bit of support would be nice sometimes.

11. You've Been Framed makes me cry with laughter.

12. Despite being a rocker I LOVE dance and electro music.

13. Despite loving cars and loving my car I am a shit driver. Women drivers, yup that's me. I think I need to get an Audi Quattro *nod nod*

14. I am never going to meet a celebrity that I am a fan of ever again simply because I have met many a famous person and the only one who didn't break my heart was Gene Simmons (and that was because I expected him to be an amazingly alluring, womanising cock).

15. At school I competed in the Norfolk Wildlife quiz, we got to the finals and lost.

16. I am SERIOUSLY opposed to fox hunting so don't get me started.

Tags:
Cristy - Because she Tagged me.
Bethan - Because she's my sister Out-Law!!!!
Davey - Because she is interesting and weird
Jobes - Because she is so spooky that she pees Darkness
Loubles - Because Louby is a cool weirdo music creature, like me.
Mike - Because, although we talk alot about music I don't feel like I know him!
Sasha - Because she was my best friend at school and I miss her.
Dan - Just because.

Pictures that move me

2008-11-23T17:47:00.003Z

The above are pictures that I think are beautiful, evocative and/or just brilliant. Sorry if one of these pics belongs to you, just let me know and I will credit/link appropriately or take it down.
<3

Cardiff

2008-11-21T10:11:00.002Z

What a wonderful place. Geeky Doctor Who and Torchwood stuff aside it is an amazing place that deserves to be visited. The architechture is simply wonderful and the shopping isn't bad either. I visited so many beautiful places in my quest to find Doctor Who and Torchwood stuff that I have seen enough of this city to make me fall completely head over heels in love with it.

Pictures and more geekiness to follow

Bands I need you.

2008-11-15T11:19:00.001Z

I want to interview bands for a music feature that I will be doing here, all with links back to webpages and myspaces so just send an email to jess@jetstonepromotions.co.uk and I will give you the full info.
Jet, x

My Thoughts on Everything

2008-11-14T21:27:00.002Z

Okay so I have the urge to update my status on facebook every few minutes. I'm not going to I'm going to at least give it an hour. *Struggles* So I'm watching Children in need and I need to say a lot of things.

Firstly Doctor Who.

WTF
David Morrisey? Really? SRSLY?
I'm sure he'll be great if it is the truth but David Tennant is a hard one to follow in terms of aesthetics, they could've tired. I'm not shallow or anything (*is totally shallow*) but DAVID TENNANT IS SO PRETTY! Urgh I've stolen the 'caps when something is exciting' thing from Cristy, she has taken over my life.

Secondly Ashes To Ashes

Bring it on Topgear cross over and the mighty QUATTRO *wants* *needs*. Mmm Gene Hunt, Quattro. It is too much for me. I'm tired and there's so much pretty on the TV!

Gok Wan

I love him. What a fucking dude!

Girls Aloud

Too much pretty. *loves* for a rocker I like pop far more than I should.

Take That.

I've discovered a new Slash obsession. That cannot be a good thing. Bollocks.

Bring on the flailing and comments thnxplz.
*heart*

Writing

2008-11-11T21:09:00.001Z

I need someone to write with. Anything, anyone...

Also I need someone to read and comment on a story of mine.
Check it out at:

http://jettica.deviantart.com

2008-11-07T16:58:00.000Z

Turns out my underpaid letter wasn't my wigs!
I want them to arrive. Hopefully tomorrow.

Blushed Rose Wigs

2008-11-07T08:10:00.000Z

I ordered two wigs, one for Cahal and a new one for Fabian. Turns out i'm getting a free one too because it took so long. That's cool, happy with that.

I get home last night 3am and there's a little slip: "We couldn't deliever your package because there is money to pay on it" Bloody brilliant. So i have to pay £1 to receive a package i ahve already paid to be shipped from whereever.

*shrug*
Oh well. New wigs Yaaaaaay!!!

I have finally found a decent roleplayer

2008-11-06T02:39:00.000Z

Fuck yeah! Bring on the slash.

I also am up to 8,000 words in a story of mine. Epic. Most I have written on anything, ever. I didn't even get that far with my fucking novel.
x

2008-11-03T15:13:00.001Z

Fabian's Questionairre.

2008-11-02T19:11:00.002Z

1) How Old Are You?
29

2)Height?
*sigh* 44cm

3)You Got Any Bad Habits?
I shot someone.

4)You a virgin?
No

5)Who's your Mate/Spouse?
No one right now. Although I'm up for some fun!

6)Have Any Kids?
No way.

7)Favourite Food?
*Thinks* French Fancies *shrug*

8)Favourite Ice Cream flavour?
Mint

10) Hate anyone?
Yes, actually. I especially don't like Doctors.

11) Any Secrets?
Oh, many. But they are secret.

12) Love Anyone?
Of course, once.

13)TACOS?
What?

14)Ever slept in All day?
Only in the last few months. Couldn't risk sleeping in until after dawn before.

15)Favourite Show?
*Shrug*

16)Favourite Movie?
Something gory.

17)Favourite Band?
Still getting used to this music but anything with a beat.

18)Eye Colours?
Black

19)Skin?
Since a distinct lack of sunlight has made me about as pale as you can get, white.

20)Fat/Average/Slim?
Slim

21)Rain, sunshine?
Still can't get used to the sunlight. Too bright.

22)Pool, Beach?
I have never had the chance to enjoy either.

23)Camping, staying home?
God, home! I roughed it for far too many years.

24)Dog, Cat?
Sheep?

25)Believe in aliens?
Haha! Of course.

26)Natural Born, or Clone?
All the clones I ever met were a bit weird.

27)Car or Ship..?
Car

28)Ever destroyed something out of Blind Rage?
Yep

29)Any Unusual Things about you?
I'm from the future...

30)How much food/drink do you need a day?
I learnt to live on minimal rations, then I was offered three meals a day plus snacks so far to much. I won't be this skinny for long.

31)Favourite Place?
Bed.

Dieting

2008-11-01T14:15:00.002Z

Right i've decided that I really need to go on a diet, I am unfit, unhealthy, heavy, wide and could look so much better than I already do. I want to try something different. I'm bad at long term dieting so I thought the short term route would be a good idea. I am going to start Monday the 3rd on some sort of diet although I'm not sure what.

The Grapefruit diet sounds like a plan but I don't like Grapefruit I wonder if it would work woth apples??

Watch this space.

Doll Update

2008-10-29T20:07:00.002Z

So I thought after the disaster of the Torchwood post I thought I would share something interesting and a huge deal less geeky... hang on, screw the less geeky bit this is more geeky.

So Dolls, the two I currently have with me are:

Fabian (DZ Mo) - Blonde haired, blue eyed future boy, from the..uh.. future. See a few posts down for the exact year, I forget. Pulled here by that Hadron collider thingy, no end of the world but a future boy instead. Wahey.

Samael (DZ Sheep) - Narcoleptic Necromancer Sheep. Nuff Said.

The one on his way is:

Cahal Raclaw (Lati blue boy Rucas) - Medieval Assassin. Back story is currently very limited although I am looking forward to building it, anyone who wishes to help me build it, either through roleplay, doll stories (slash or no slash, he's not fussed and nor am I) or just through a little chat.

The ones I want:

Rae (MNF Fairyland Aline boy either Lishe or Carl) - Still haven't decided on this boy I know who he is and what he will do. I know the wig I want and the eyes I want, just don't know which head. His storyline is going to be a bit of a secret but will involve Fabian. Whoop.

Olivia - Not sure which doll I want because I find girl dolls ugly as hell. Quite like the MNF girls (a-line, natch) and love the new Lati red girls but I'm still working out this girl, her back story and her appearance. TBH I have a name, this is all. If someone can point me in the direction of a harcore, awesome looking girl I'd be greatful. I'm still new to this doll thing.

Brenton Moore - Detective. Also more of an idea, no idea which model would fit with him, he'd a drugged up Detective who's a bit crooked and a fair bit older than any doll models would suit. Once again, a shove in the right direction would be appreciated.

Any doll loving friends I can make would be great, I see the relationships Davey's and Lulu's kids have and I want that I want to exchange sexy angsty messages doll to doll. :( *is jealous*

Anyways, Fabian has a new wig on the way, his DZ default one is so shoddily made it is unbelievable so I shelled out $35 on a new one for him and one for Cahal. Never had to cut a wig before so it will be interesting.

Much love to you all. Expect many a picture when the new boy arrives and by posting this I've had about five new ideas for characters, thanks.
<3
xx

Torchwood - A shameless slash post.

2008-10-27T21:32:00.004Z

Okay after all that, are you okay? May I continue with the writing? Good.

So, Torchwood, slashiest show ever. Without being a gay show it's so gay, wonderfully gay. As someone who loves slash this show is a godsend and it's a Doctor who spin off aaaand John Barrowman.

So slash aside, why do I like this show? It has some good storylines and baddies and action scenes.

Oh fuck it, just look at the pictures, I'm too distracted now.

(Go Jet the writer. Awesome writing there)

The pictures in this post need crediting to Smirnoff Mule at Livejournal. Link to the full post: http://smirnoffmule.livejournal.com/52435.html#cutid1

2008-10-26T20:28:00.002Z

Ben's priorities.

1. Warcraft
2. Jess

/cry

Hotleg - Soultree, Cambridge - 22/10/08

2008-10-25T08:44:00.002+01:00

I am a Darkling through and through so naturally I was devastated at Frankie leaving and in the end the band breaking up. Then I am greeted with a new band, The Stone Gods, who I like. They are a nu-classic rock band (if that is even a genre) I thought they were the best thing, it was like having the Darkness back but heavier! Then Justin comes along with a new band, Hotleg and once again I am blown away.

Because Justin has such a distinctive voice Hotleg have that Darknessy aspect but the instruments are much heavier, making me a very happy Jet. All in all I think I love this band.

www.negrete.co.uk

2008-10-19T16:12:00.003+01:00

www.negrete.co.uk

The t-shirt below is from the above website, beautiful clothing there, bright colours, bold prints, everyone can find something they love at Negrete.co.uk. Please let me know if you look!

Fabian's First Photostory.

2008-10-18T17:12:00.005+01:00

Fabian is from the future, below is the beginning of the documentation we have uncovered from him about how he got here.

In 2698 the world is very very different, the earth is in ruins and shadowed by a sky station, a place where the humans live. Everyone is assigned to their own quarter although some people are deemed better than others. Fabain, being a business man was kicked out of his home for a Surgeon, the surgeon then wound up with a bullet wound through his head. Fabian, rightly, was picked out to be the main suspect.

Tied. Ready to be taken away for the murder of the man that had him thrown out of his house.

He was more than reluctant to be taken away..
So decided to form a plan...
Despite the tight trousers he had been hiding a gun, a quick wave of it about and a few shots and he go away.
Don't mess with a blonde business man with a gun.

Unfortunately a bullet also hit one of the cops and this meant he was more wanted than ever, he had to run, there was nothing he could do.

House MD: House/Wilson

2008-10-15T19:34:00.003+01:00

I'm not going to go too into detail just in case there are some who haven't seen the new Episode (S5E4) however, don't read on if you are avoiding spoilers like the plauge.

Okay so for those of you that are still here; the whole House/Wilson thing just warms my heart. Slash aside, what a wonderfully fucked up yet beautiful friendship they have. Seeing this new episode makes me realised what wonderful characterisation the writers of the show have put into it. It's extremely hard to explain but they are both so complex, certainly not flat, linear characters. It's great to have such complexity, despite House's obvious issues, he's a loveable character because he speaks his mind like we all want to sometimes, he's delightfully intelligent, (gorgeous), (Hugh Laurie) and we also pity him just enough that we know he wouldn't want us to and not so much that we think he's pathetic.

This sort of complexity is rarely seen in television programmes, I'm not saying that every other show is rubbish, I'm just stating that Characterisation in House MD is bloody genious.

Wilson is also beautifully complex, he isn't like every other TV character out there, he has issues and that is wonderful. How many characters can you name that base their relationships on the neediness of the people around them and have real issues letting go yet are so firey and wonderful.

I really do have a great love in my heart for their relationship, even is House is an unfeeling person you can see in everyway that he adores what he has with Wilson and certainly wasn't set on letting it go, yet he was torn with the idea of having to show some feeling to get him back. Wilson walked straight into all this, just being around House meant manipulation to the highest degree, House knew he would get what he wanted and it worked.

On a more realistic note the characterisation is perfect in terms of psychology; people like that, with those issues and in those situations would react in such a way. Beacause Wilson is so calm yet passionate it is only correct that it would take him time to lose his temper but when he does it is full of feeling and emotion. House, because he doesn't like to show any emotion yet deep down harbours enough to drown himself in misery, is going to be a complete cock to manipulate the person he knows so well simply because he's in the perfect position to do so. He wants Wilson back enough to make him hate him for just a little while until Wilson can admit that what he has with House is actually quite special and deep even if it's never talked about.

If you've read this with no idea what I am on about then watch House MD. Fabulous medical drama staring our own (that's us being the Brits) Hugh Laurie as Gregory House.

Nemo: Your new favourite band! (Free songs)

2008-10-09T19:14:00.000+01:00

Listen up Electro fans, you can get your hands on a free track from the geniuses at are Nemo. Some of you may already know them from The Mighty Boosh as lead singer James Cook has appeared in a few of the episodes, you also may have heard of them if you know anything about proper Electro. So past, current and future fans head over to Nemo’s website www.nemointernational.com to get your hands on a free track, and there’s one a week! Be sure to sign up to the news letter so you don’t miss out.

Future fans be wary of awesome electric sounds, fabulous vocals and the fact that these guys might just become your new favourite band.

Benny

2008-10-03T16:38:00.000+01:00

He's home. He's been gone a long, old week. And I've missed him greatly. I've had some good bonding with the lovely work ladies but I need my Benny back!!

Can't wait to see him. He's gonna get lots of cuddles. Snuggly hot bag.

*loves Ben a lot more than he loves her*

I'm obsessed.

Why my mum is fucking awesome and why i love her.

2008-10-02T20:47:00.004+01:00

She's beyond awesome. Anyone who has read this blog knows of my Doll obession and how much I love my kids. Anyways, upon mentioning to my mother how I wanted to learn to sew because of the doll thing she has made it her goal in life to make the most awesome clothes ever.

When i was younger she used to make clothes for mt barbies, for me as well as mending anything (darning socks etc). So she's a bit better than myself at this sewing malarkey. She took Fabian's (he's the blondie, future bitch of a doll) measurments and a pair of trousers I had roughly sewn (rough being the word here). She made these trousers in to better, tighter beauties, as well as making him some jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.

A conversation with her today revealled she's printed off loads of patterns, lectured me about buying MSDs instead of SDs because they are harder to find clothes for.

I then ask her.
"I think I've converted you, you are tempted to get one"

"Maybe"

Came her answer

"But if I did, Fabian wouldn't get any clothes"

So if she wants to buy me a female SD she is more than welcome to. Christmas time is coming up.

I love my Mummy so much, she is the most awesome person I have ever met.

Mummy i wuv you
<3

Why do people have to be awful.

2008-09-27T21:44:00.002+01:00

In the roleplay world I operate in all the literates think they are complete elitists. They talk like wankers, act like wankers and generally think they are better than you. Unfortunately they are good at what they do and I've done some great roleplays with them.

I'm sick of these wankers, why aren't there any nice, literate roleplayers out there. I don't think I come across as some elitist cock face. Urgh, I've just discussed what would be an awesome roleplay and posted a first post *see yellow text under this, awesome first post* so I posted and she returned from shopping. I asked if she'd read the post and she said she couldn't be arsed, fair enough. So I say please let me know when you've read. Simply so I didn't have to keep checking back.

The reply I get is:

despiracy (21:41:15): I just told you I'm not in the mood to read all that.

What the fuck, why, no need for that. Suffice to say I won't be roleplaying with her. I'm so pissed off.

Good roleplay intro below:
****

Rae sat in front of his computer one finger hovering over the return key, the script that was scrolling in front of his eye looked okay but he had to be sure, it had to be perfect. One mistake and their whole plan would be ruined, the programmer moved his hand away from the keyboard and opened up the raw script again, there wasn’t one mistake that he could see, this code had been check, checked again, run through test programmes and then re-checked. It had to be correct. The programme would take about an hour to run and cycle through its processes before the end result came. That end result being total destruction of the planet’s computer systems.

They’d all been given one part of the code to run, Rae had started this thinking they were liberating a broken world, although now that he was deeper in all this he knew that it wasn’t like that. This was for destruction, panic and death. The hackers weren’t in charge all this had been formulated by someone who could see the big picture yet someone who didn’t have the technical knowledge to implement such a plan.

There were many a way that this could play out, the virus could be stopped if the government knew how and got to it in time, if they did it would only render their computer systems and records redundant, still causing mass panic. If the virus was not stopped and was allowed to run its course all firewalls would be taken offline allowing for rival nations to access computer systems, this would then be followed by a break down in the central hubs and servers across the world, meaning no internet access. Soon every computer on the planet would be infected; this meant your home PC to the military computers that contained launch codes for all the missiles in the world.

Rae began to gather his things, he already had a bag packed, everything he could think of that might keep him safe: Nothing sentimental just food, water, clothing and a gun. The male stood in front of the computer for a few seconds before pressing return. It had to be this way, there was no way out of it now, at least he would be safe. The script began to run and Rae left.

The walk to the meeting place would only take twenty minutes but Rae still ran, backpack slung around his shoulders and gun tucked into his jeans. Although the code would take an hour to infiltrate major systems the effects of the others may be seen more quickly. As a programmer and all round computer genius he knew that it would be the street lamps that would start to go as the grid was shut down from his computer.

It was dusk, and the sky was beginning to grey, it would be night time before the unsuspecting public know what had hit them. Rae couldn’t help but feel guilty and selfish but he’s gotten into all this far too deep to worry about the consequences. There was a good chance this could be the end of the world depending on how many nuclear bombs the world had hidden away. With the ones they knew about there was still a good chance the world could be wiped out, all part of the cleansing apparently; although Rae failed to see how a new world could be born from nothingness.

Finally he reached the designated meeting spot, a large, old building that stood about twenty floor high. He was to wait outside of the front door here smoking a cigarette until his companion arrived, from there they would descend into the deep basement of this building where the appropriate precautions had already been taken to keep them safe from whatever was happening on the world above.

He leant against the door way of the building trying to catch his breath from his run, already the street lamp above was beginning to flicker before flicking off entirely. The sinking sun and rising moon provided little light from behind clouds that had been moving all in day. Rae now felt hugely uncomfortable with the whole situation, he was meeting someone who was more or less a stranger and there was impending doom now hanging over the planet.

Somewhat shakily Rae pulled some cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. This would be his signal, whoever was going to meet him would know who he was. This wasn’t a busy area of the city, it was run down and going to ruin already. There would be few others who had planned to smoke in that particular door way on, what was to be, such an eventful night.

Rae thought about all the people he had loved and lost, all the people that had done him wrong in the past and ultimately pushed him to this final action. There must have been 50 of them across the world, maybe more, all planning, writing and waiting for two years whilst this was all formulated. Rae had been in a bad state then always moving around and never wanting to stop anywhere for too long. Every government had turned on its people. Instilling fear in all and keeping an eye on any who got out of hand. That had spiralled out of control over the past few years leaving many suburbs of cities in ruin as all the people were crammed into the cities to be watched.

The sound of footsteps made him jump, it was either the authorities out looking for him or his fellow hacker. Relief flooded through him when he realised it was neither, just a passerby. They didn’t seem too shocked at the fact that two street lamps were out, that was probably quite common for this part of the city.

Rae had always been an optimist always trying to put a good spin on things so people felt better, so he felt better. Now, however, he was full of sorrow and despair. It was likely that he had made a big mistake in helping with all this destruction. He wanted a new world but he was beginning to wonder if anything good could be born out of such destruction.

Bloody Greencard!

2008-09-26T09:36:00.000+01:00

Applying for the Greencard lottery I am not eligable.

Fuck that.
x

God I miss them

2008-09-23T08:34:00.002+01:00

1 Year ago yesterday my friends Chris and Nathan were taken from us in a horrific car accident. Chris was, in a round about way, my cousin and whilst we were at school one of my best friends. Nathan was simply an aquaintence of mine, I sat with him on the bus to school.

My mum married Chris' uncle and thus we became cousins and our friendship was rekindled somewhat. It hurts me to think that I am not going to see these people ever again, such kind, friendly, wonderful people.

I thought a year on things would be better but yesterday at work I was a complete mess, unsettled and restless. I did work and I worked hard but I needed to get out and do something, it felt like working wasn't enough. Any day I or any of my other friend's could die in a car accident and I'm stuck doing fucking sales when I could be meeting new people, catching up with old friends and handing out with new ones.

I'm such a stupidly restless person, I need to be out doing things, not stuck in a FREEZING cold office all day, every day. I need brightness, creativity, colour, WARMTH. (Seriously I work in the coldest office ever) .

Anyways, this is for Chris and Nathan, everyone misses you dearly. I love you both and wish you were both still here, you make the world a better place to be in.

And on a happier note: A bunny, because bunnies make me happy. Sorry for the depressing post.
<3

New Tat!

2008-09-20T16:04:00.001+01:00

No pictures yet but I just got my star tattoo extended. three new stars, one black, one outline and one ORANGE!

And all the while listening to some ace music including T-REX!!!
xx

Am I violent?

2008-09-18T12:27:00.001+01:00

Next door have had a baby. Cute ikkle baby.

No. Seriously, everytime I sit down to relax and watch some TV or do some work all I can hear is "waaaahhhh!!!" and it's seriously starting to do my nut in.

*looks for shot gun*

I will have peace and quiet very soon.

What I am loving too much right now.

2008-09-10T13:22:00.002+01:00

Life On Mars.

I've always been a fan ever since a roleplay partner of mine, and now good friend, Drifty told me about the show. We were roleplaying Torchwood some nice slash Ianto/Jack, she was always talking about Life on Mars and how it was fabulous so I decided to watch it. For a serious show that is, in some parts, full of angst it is hilarious.

The plot is fabulous, the characters are amazingly loveable (see post below *loves Gene Hunt*). I'm not going to go into the plot because I want you to watch it, love it and write about it. You will especially love it if you grew up in the 70's as that is when it is based this means 70's music! Even as a 19 year old this is a dream come true as my musical tastes revolve heavily around 70's rock music.

Named after the David Bowie song 'Life on Mars' which is one of my favourite songs and features in the show. Brilliant song, now stirs up in me all sorts of amazing emotions to do with the show as does the song 'Live and Let Die' gives me goose bumps.

Anyways this is basically a rant to tell you all how wonderful this show is. The hilarity for a drama show is amazing, there have been some times when I've had to stop watching to laugh because if I hadn't I would've missed the show through the tears of laughter.

The parts of the show that fill me with happy are Gene Hunt's one liners and the 'male bonding'.

xx

Blokes I find hot but probably shouldn't (PIC!SPAM)

2008-09-08T22:08:00.006+01:00

Above: Charley Boorman - Actor - Mainly known for riding around the world a few times on pretty bikes with Ewan Mcgregor - He is utterly, wonderfully charming and it drive me insane!!
Above: Julian Barratt from The Mighty Boosh, wonderfully shy in RL. It's the facial hair that does it for me.
Above: George Mason from 24 - Not sure of the Actor's name but I find him hawt.
Above: Alex Mahone (William Fitchner) - Prison Break - It's the violent agent thing.
Above: Tea Bag ( Robert Knepper) Okay so there's the murdering, the gay and the peodophillia not my normal type of man ('cept the ghey) so WHY?
Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister) Life on Mars - It's the violent authoritive police thing again. I see a pattern emerging.

He's being faceless in my house.

2008-09-05T12:51:00.001+01:00

Fabian is here

2008-09-04T13:23:00.003+01:00

Well almost. He's at the post office waiting for me to pick him up this eve *verily excited*. So far I have made him a scarf! Go me. He has two pairs of Marsh trousers on the way and about 5 pairs of shoes.

My dear mother is going to make him a shirt. Isn't she nice. I've got to go super market shopping to do straight after i pick him up. It's going to be agony leaving him in the car. Grr. The picture you see above is from when he arrived with Carol, at Angelesque. With no faceup he's pretty scary he will also have blue in his wig!

Yhey.

Tomorrow!

2008-08-28T09:07:00.002+01:00

Tomorrow I get to see my darling Dave! I can't wait to see her, to meet the family, the pups and the kids. We are also getting ink, Davey is having a bit of a crisis so her tat will be a nice surprise. However, I can tell you that I shall have an anchor on my foot on a few days.

Much awesome.
x

2008-08-24T22:31:00.002+01:00

On my DA site I was looking for a name for this pic. I wanted the name for a sheep like 'Feline', 'Canine' etc. I asked my bloke what it was and he advised 'Ovine' I googled and it was correct. Turns out he knew this from watching Family Guy.

The world works in mysterious ways.

I'm not a happy bunny

2008-08-21T12:16:00.003+01:00

Begin: Rant

I bidded for a job on Odesk a few days ago, got a speedy reply from the person who posted the job. Basically what it was for was a Social Networking Marketeer for a US music artist, I thought 'Great!' such a perfect job for me as it is where all my experience lies. I've worked with loads of bands on myspace and was part of an epic promotional campaign for www.musicfinity.com which took place on social networking sites.

So to cut a long story short, I was perfect, qualificationwise for what she needed. I could've made her massive.

So I got a reply and she said I was perfect for the post. Fabulous! She proceeded to ask me questions and I replied. I gave her a list of bands I have worked with. And here they are:

Nemo
Nicolai Prowse
The Upraw
Kairos
Crone
Mowglee
Into Flight (although not directly, through Pit Viper)
Fuck Buttons
The Alive

Good bands. Yes? Well I think so. Note MY band Fuck Buttons. Fab band. (http://www.myspace.com/fuckbuttonsmusic )

So I tell her about these bands, notice that she is Christian so go into all the Christian music stuff with the Ultimate Showcase and Kairos etc. Then all my skills and knowledge of the social networking scene, the people, what I've done, how I rock etc.

I get an email back. I was quite offended, she got the completely wrong idea of me.

" I see you're agnostic. How would you be able to confidently represent an artist who is totally not that? "

I then explained my interpretation of Agnostic, basically that I believe in a god but am open minded enough to not pigeonhole myself. Maybe I was a bit politer.

She also then told me that the copy for her site and things is written to reflect her, this means now cursing etc. Fair enough, I swear in my day to day life. However... I am a professional. I replied to that little quip like so:

"When it comes to my writing and promotion I am a professional. I know target markets and I know that yours is not one that I would target the same as a punk band. I have done enough market research on the music scene to know who likes what and what sort of people respond to certain wording and literacy."

I wouldn't swear in any of her copy, it's completely different to my fashion writing. It's the same as how I wouldn't swear in my writing where I describe grammar styles yet may do in my comedy writing. Target markets!

She then writes:

"No cursing, swearing, no black websites, no violence. After looking over the mySpace pages you've done, In all honesty, I would not feel comfortable having my name or my music associated, even indirectly, with a group called Fuck Buttons or bands that do songs like You Brought a Knife to a Gunfight. Please understand I am not judging either the musicians or the music -- it's simply not the kind of energy that I want, even inadvertently, associated with me or my music."

I got her to clarify "Black" websites, she meant the colour, thankfully. I also don't know which band has that song title but it's not exactly something I agree with or practice! And the name FuckButtons, fair enough a little obscene in the swearing sense but we are the most light hearted band out of the list.

Basically after I sent my email back she replied saying that we would not be the right fit for one another. As you can see I am annoyed. She is a good artist, fantastically, relaxing and melodic but her attitude to promotion is ridiculous.

Am I being weird here? I am totally out of line letting this annoy me?

I don't get it.

I can't believe that with all my experience that 'bad energy' is my downfall.

/rant

I have a DSLR!!

2008-08-15T12:25:00.002+01:00

Go me.

A Canon EOS 450d. Granted, it is only an entry level DSLR but I don't love photography enough (yet) to spend £10,000 on a camera. For what I do this is ace. There is so much you can change, maniplate, play with etc. Just need to do a photoshoot. I've got laods of models to use but none are free tonight so I am going to see if Vicki (see post below; she throws things at me XD) is free. If she is then yhey new model!

I have taken a few photos of Sam, a couple of myself and a couple of Ben but I'm still experiementing. Getting used to the beauty of this piece of machinery!

*is excited*

xxx

I caught something

2008-08-14T09:59:00.001+01:00

It has been an ongoing joke that when Vicki, at work, throws something across the desk to me I drop it or just let it hit my hand with no catching invloved.

I thought you might all like to know that I caught the Pritstick today!
Go me.

2008-08-14T06:51:00.003+01:00

Sam's first shoot using my Camera Phone!

Rubbish pics but at least you get to see him. I am embarking on the quest for a Canon 450d today. Much yheys.

Sam is here!

2008-08-13T13:32:00.002+01:00

Samael my Dollzone Sheep is here!

Although I'm somewhat pissed off because I can't find my camera charger anywhere *goes insane* it's a fucking nightmare because I want to take photos of the beautiful boy.

I've taken some on my phone and will upload those tonight although they will be small and shit but you will get to see him being gorgeous.

Hot sheepeh!

xx

I miss them but maybe we are better off.

2008-08-09T19:44:00.002+01:00

Okay so I miss The Darkness. A huge deal to be honest it still makes me sad.

However, maybe we are better off now. We have The Stone Gods who are the epitome of wonderful, proper, rock. And then we have Justin, beautifully glam and rocking!. The two most wonderful parts of The Darkness in seperate entities.

That's double to music isn't it...

Better.

Anyways. Back to beer and slash.

Poor Sebastien

2008-08-08T14:22:00.000+01:00

My first doll, my 28cm Obitsu! His head doesn't fit. Poor boy. Bandmate is going to attempt to rescue the situation alter after she had visited her Grandma.

Fingers crossed.

Oh and I have no MSC!
xx

This is ridiculous

2008-08-05T10:11:00.000+01:00

I've never felt so demotivated. Feel sleepy, want to do some writing but no one wants me.
Ggrr x